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OTHER: Running out of time
Article #: 248734
Category: Other
Original Letter
I'm 31 and have had an amazing life so far traveling the word and learning about myself. I always thought that I had a lot of time to think about the responsibilities of life. All of a sudden I feel like I'm being left behind. I want to have a family and do something meaningful with my work. I'm lucky but I feel time is running out.
Elder Response
You are 31 years old and you think life is leaving you behind? Please take my word for it, you are entering the beautiful phase of your life. In our teens it was getting into our twenties, so we could feel independent and adult. In our twenties, it was getting our careers on track and enjoying the freedom of the single unattached, unrestricted life.
Now in our thirties, with our "oats" sown, we want security, family and stabilization. We want to connect with someone who has the same wants and needs as we do. We do not want to "settle." We are impatient, because we think we are in the dreaded "life is passing me by" thirties. We think the perfect soul mate was supposed to show up or be known at least on our thirtieth birthday, because that is the way we planned our lives. To make it more complicated and depressing, more of our friends are getting married every year. It didn't bother us so much when we were in our twenties, but now, in the dreaded thirties, we are almost becoming desperate and are afraid we might have to "settle."
Life is great. Up until now you have not "settled." Don't. You just haven't found the right guy yet, actually, to be more precise, he hasn't found you yet. There is someone out there that is educated, well traveled, ducks in a row and looking for you. He just doesn't know it yet.
There is a very old saying. "Birds of a feather flock together". What are your passions, your hobbies, your interests? Helping others, politics, volunteering, clubbing? If you want to meet an attorney, volunteer as an advocate. If you want to meet a doctor, volunteer in a hospital. If you want to meet a person interested in others, be active in a political party.
I know you must have a career that is rewarding, but maybe now is the time to expand and discover a passion that might lead to someone. How about an adult art or writing class? How about an adult dance or acting class? Don't give up looking for someone, because he is looking for you too. Thirty one, forty one or ninety one, love knows no age. Enjoy life as it is now, it may change tomorrow or next year, but be ready and please don't "settle." Settling for something that is not what you want can cause life to be worse than you think it is now. Let me know how you are doing.
Best Regards,
Charlie