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RELATIONSHIP: Love?
Article #: 255721
Category: Relationship
Original Letter
I have been in a relationship for 3 and a half years but I don't feel as though we have anything there for each other anymore. I honestly don't know what to do as I have tried expressing these feelings to him but it's like he isn't interested and he doesn't want to hear it. I just want us both to move on for our daughter's sake as we always argue and cause each other to be on a downer. I want what's best for my daughter and I don't want her being brought up in an unhappy family environment. What do I do?
Elder Response
It seems that after nearly 4 years the two of you just don't have a bond. You want one thing. He won't consider it. You two argue because you can't agree. Nothing that you can say or do will convince him to do things your way. Nothing. You have three choices:
1. Leave.
2. Stay. Continue "as is." This won't change anything. You will continue to argue and disagree.
3. Stay. Change how you react. You can't change him; you can, however, change yourself. It takes, as they say, "two to tango" so if you stop arguing and fighting, he will probably stop too. It isn't this man alone who is making this unhappy family environment. By avoiding the disagreements you can probably do a great deal towards making a peaceful serene family environment.
I'd suggest that you try to communicate with him one last time. Come to a truce. Tell him you see that he's not interested in the changes you'd like to see. Tell him that you want to stop the arguments and behave more lovingly towards one another so your daughter has a loving family life.
That's about all I can suggest. I don't know why the two of you disagree. It could be, of course, that the disagreement is one of those deal breakers. If that's the case, leave this guy. You'll never change him... accept that. Feel free to write again if you'd like.
Best Regards,
PicklesMarie