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CAREER: Advice
Hello, I've been stressed out lately and could use some advice or someone to listen. I was laid off from work since winter and it has been stressful. I have never been laid off, only once for 2 wks and I found work very easily. I havent been able to find a job and I'm feeling restless. I feel very stressed out because I don't feel right without work. I feel I am not a part of society and I am not doing anything to help or achieve anything right now. I feel a bit restless and worried. I have 3 degrees in marketing, psy and interior design. I can't find any jobs right now and looking for something in marketing. I've thought about going to school again but I'm too stressed out about my living situation. I moved back home when I lost my job to save money and I've been more stressed out since this has happened. I don't get along with my parents. They are different than me and we dont see things the same and we just end up arguing about everything. My mom sees me as a 2 yr. old and has her own vision of who she wants me to become and I struggle with this. She doesnt know who I am and doesnt even know much about who I am or what I want in my life. She is focused on what she wants and she wants me to be like other people she meets. She drives me up the wall some days where I ignore what she says if it is going to me make me angry. She may make comments or ask questions that she has asked before that she knows I will say no to but insists on askign them hoping I would change. i am not changing! I am who I am. It's frustrating. i guess im just stressed out right now.Elder Response
Your situation is a difficult one, being out of work, living with your parents, all that would make anyone feel stressed out. ( Depressed )
You have several things to deal with, all of them are important. You've worked hard and have prepared yourself well to be ready for the work place. Dafni, unfortunately in our society our self worth seems to depend on what we do to make money. That's not very realistic though, because you are so much more than your job. Take a deep breath and give yourself credit for what you have done, as well as what you are doing now. You're doing what you can to find a job. If you are giving your pursuit of a job your best effort, you can relax knowing you're doing all that can be done.
Getting along with our parents is something that is exceedingly important to most of us. The necessity of moving in with your parents may have created an opportunity for you. First it should eliminate some of the economic stress that is required to maintain a home. Dafni, you have a chance to cultivate a new relationship with your parents despite the differences.
Remember they raised you from a baby; they love you. Maybe not always the way you want to be loved. Dafni remember they love you, they are giving you a safe place while you get your situation in order. You aren't going to change your parents, so you need to accept who they are, learn to love the good parts and quietly endure the bad parts. If you remove your ego, and ignore the things that bother you, loving your parents will be much better. Let go of the petty stuff that really doesn't matter; remember you are" their little person," so let them love you their way no matter how insulting it feels. Do that and you will find getting along with them will be easier.
Lastly accept your situation, and understand your feelings. It is temporary. If you were happy about being out of work something would be wrong with you. You want to get along with your parents, most of us do, that's a good thing. The hard part is that you are the one who is going to have to do the hard work of being patient with them.
You know you're doing all you can do. Take a deep breath, do something that makes you feel good, be thankful for what you do have. Move to your own space when togetherness gets to be too much. Depression is a mean thing. You can fight it though; stay busy, reach out, keep doing your best. If that doesn't help, call your doctor; he can recommend help for you. Counseling and medication, whatever seems to be necessary.
Keep doing what you are doing and I'm sure good things will eventually happen. I wish you well.
Sincerely,
Papa-Dude