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Nothing feels normal

This letter writer feels lonely after spending time in another city. 

Our elder shares their own experience of anxiety and has some tips: embrace life, and don’t be afraid to seek help.

 

Dear EWC

Dear person who’s reading this… I’ve been feeling lonely lately. I spent three months in another city, and when I came back, I felt the awkwardness and loneliness. I’ve always been the funny one amongst my friends, but my jokes now lead to just awkward silence. I used to be so extroverted, but now I feel ignored and introverted. I have offline school in two days, and I’m so worried that I’ll be ignored, judged, and hurt like I was amongst my online friends and my friends I met when I came back from the city. I also noticed that I’m very anxious (I’ve had panic attacks before, but no one knows about it). I also keep seeing 69 all the time! I searched what it meant, and that left me with dread because I don’t want changes. I need love right now… no one understands me, I want things to be happy and normal. I also have examinations soon and I don’t know what to do. Is God really up there? Will things get better?

 

Danray replies

I’m sorry to hear that you are dealing with anxiety and the fact that you feel ignored and judged by your friends. It’s clear that since you have come back from another city that you don’t seem happy and that things don’t feel normal to you. I understand why this would be difficult and need help to move forward, so what do you do?

You didn’t provide many details as to why your friends would treat you differently or what may have caused your panic attacks in the past. I have suffered from anxiety and panic attacks in the past and might have a sense of what you’re going through. You should know that many people deal with anxiety issues and it’s hard at times to deal with this on your own. In my case, I was dealing with a sick wife, troubles at work and kids who needed attention. I got dizzy, had trouble breathing and found myself in the hospital after suffering a panic attack. I called my doctor and asked that he help me understand what I was going through. He diagnosed my anxiety and also asked that I see a counselor that helps people deal with anxiety and depression issues. Have you reached out to your doctor and/or a counselor that helps people deal with anxiety/depression? If not, I would not be afraid or ashamed to seek help. As I mentioned above many people deal with anxiety issues and help is available. 

Also, when I get down or have trouble coping, I find it helpful to embrace and invest in all that life has to offer. Many times, we focus on only one aspect of our life and let that define us and/or our happiness. I believe it’s important to enjoy all of life’s pleasures including; spending time with family and friends, school and/or work, learning something new each day, invest in my faith and spiritual journey, exercise and eating right, hobbies and other areas of interest, taking my dog for a walk, volunteering and helping others, meet new people and even romance when it comes along, etc… I’m sure you’re a nice person with many good things in your life. I know this is easier said than done but feel good about who you are and what positive things that you have in your life right now… and take the time to invest in yourself and what makes you happy. 

In summary, many people deal with anxiety and need help to move forward. If you continue to struggle, reach out to your doctor and/or a counselor that can help you understand and deal with your anxiety/depression. Please don’t be afraid or ashamed to seek help. Also, I know this may be difficult at first but try to embrace/invest in all aspects of your life. The key is to not have any one aspect of your life define you and/or your happiness. 

Hope this helps and I wish you the best going forward. 

Article #: 485567

Category: Friendship

One Comment

  1. What wonderful, compassionate advice. We all need a little help from time to time.

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