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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

SELF-IMPROVEMENT: I think I may have an eating disorder
Letter #: 399826
Category: Self-Improvement

Original Letter

I think I have an eating disorder but I'm not sure. I always try to be as healthy as possible and only eat certain foods no snacking. I have been vegetarian vegan paleo you name it but never managed to keep it for that long, I always end up breaking and feeling so bad about it that I loose control and eat total shit anything bad for you in reach, and I don't stop until my stomach hurts.

for as long as I can remember the biggest thing in my life has been my weight and food. I am always thinking about it. and making promises that I won't eat tomorrow. I can't remember the last time I wasn't trying to loose weight. I just want to be perfect like my friends and everyone else. I know I'm not fat but I want to be skinny so badly and I don't even know why. But I just want to stop obsessing over calories and how far I run I want to be normal so I have time to think about other things and be happy like everyone else. I feel like I'm trapped inside my body if only I was skinner everything would be so much easier.

I don't like talking about this with anyone because I don't want them to think that I am so obsessed with the way I look. But i can't help feeling so insecure and rubbish about myself all the time. does anyone know how I can get over this and successfully loose weight?:)

Elder Response

I'm so sorry to hear how much pain you're in, trying to become skinny and "perfect" like your friends. I'm also sorry to say that we cannot say whether you have an eating disorder. Per Elder Wisdom Circle policy, we are prohibited from giving medical advice of any type. Certainly, you've described something that might be called an obsession with weight and eating. But it will take the expertise of a medical professional to establish whether what you talk about is a disorder.

Therefore, I strongly urge you to talk with a counselor. I'm not sure how the medical system works in the UK, but you might have to talk with your general physician first, to get a referral. That's how it's mostly done in the US. Whatever the process, please do talk with someone as soon as possible. What you don't want to continue doing is spending so much of your precious life thinking about this.

One more thing: Just because someone is skinny, it doesn't mean they're perfect or their life is perfect or even that they're happy. Look, for example, at movie stars, skinny movie stars, who have terrible romantic relationships, who are very insecure. Unfortunately, since the days of Twiggy in the 1960s, young girls have wanted to be super skinny. It's so sad. Every person is different and that means every person has a different shape.

That said, however, your health is being impacted by the binge eating and the yo-yo dieting. Talking with your doctor is a first step in correcting this behavior. Again, please do it soon.

I hope you will seek counseling and be on the road to recovering from what could be a lifelong struggle. I wish so very much that you wouldn't think of yourself as rubbish. We only have this one life on earth and I strongly believe that we should treat ourselves kindly and think that we're worthy of love and affection, both from ourselves and others. Do take good care of yourself and be well.

Best Regards,



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