Published Advice Letters

Our Featured Letter

FAMILY: Why is my little sister so bratty?!

My little sister who is in kindergarten is so BRATTY! She always bullies my younger pre-school sister. Whenever we ride to school, she ALWAYS pretends like she can t put on her seatbelt, but she can! I never go inside her bedroom, but she always comes into mine, and acts like it s hers. Whenever my mom leaves me and her and my older brother in the car when we re going grocery shopping and she starts having a fit/crying for no reason and is so annoying, and I say i m going to tell Mom, she starts saying I m gonna tell Mom, you are bad, you are bad! She never listens to us. When my mom just has enough, and she yells at her, she says I'll never do it again, never ever! But we know she never means it. She always cries over the DUMBEST things! Once, her winter coat was zipped really high, but wasn't at the top, and she asked me to put it at the top, but I said It was stuck, and it would choke her anyway If I did it, but then she start crying in PUBLIC! My mom scolded her in the car, but she kept on blaming me! What should I do?!

Elder Response

First let me thank you for your patience while waiting for a response from us. Your letter and what you are going through is important. Yes, your sister does seem to be very trying to anyone's nerves. Is she ever good when you are around? I would suggest you "catch her being good" and compliment her. Like if she is quiet, or sitting still, say, I really like you now when you are sitting so quietly. Now she may or may not keep being good, but she'll learn that when she's good you notice. The point is to reward her for keeping her being good and she'll repeat it. Hopefully I mean.

Now her behavioral problems should not be YOUR problem, Ejie. It is your parents responsibility. Does either of your parents even notice her misbehaving?

Also try getting her to sing a song or play a game whenever you are all stuck in the car. Think of some songs she'd like or rather, ask her what she'd like to sing and let HER lead the song. Again, you are rewarding her for good behavior. Your mother needs to teach her what the consequences are if she misbehaves before you even leave or on each day. But it has to be fair. She's the middle child. May resent that you are the oldest and may feel you and your youngest sister get more attention than her. But sure sounds like she cannot cope very well. She needs guidance and consequences.

Not sure how old you are, but can you use ear phones or buds to listen to music so you don't hear her as much?

Let us know how you are doing and how she's behaving. Again, this is your parents responsibility. Ask for their guidance in a nice way. Write us again and let us know how you all are doing. Good luck, Ejie!

Sincerely,

Jan4you