… but I’m going to Vegas to hook up with an older married couple that I met on the internet.
Our elder does not feel that this is a wise decision.
Dear EWD
So I am in a long distance relationship. I am dating a man and a woman who are married to each other. We’ve been dating online now for almost a month and a half, and it’s weird I know but I do love them. We share everything together and even mail each other things in the mail as little ways of saying “I love you”. Well normally I would have no problem telling my mother or grandmother these things, but this one is different in a lot of ways, like one they are married and two, my boyfriend is 41 years old and my girlfriend is 43 years old and I am 22 years old, turning 23 this year. My mom and grandmother, I already know would call them pedophiles but they aren’t, and what’s worse is I live with my grandmother, so I want to keep the peace with my family but I don’t want to hide from them that I am in a relationship. Also this summer I will be going out to Vegas to meet them; they are paying for my plane ticket and everything and I know they are who they say they are because we video chat on Facebook. I just don’t know how to explain all this to my family without them freaking out or yelling at me.
PicklesMarie replies
You (22) are in a long distance relationship with a married man (41) and woman (43). It has been a scant six weeks and you have already hatched the plan to visit them in Vegas. You were smart to reach out for help. Somehow what this duo is pitching you is probably wrong… despite their video chats.
OK, you might not believe me. However, something turned you on to the possibility that this isn’t right. There is nothing you can tell your mom and grandmother that does not sound like you, you are no longer thinking. It sounds like you have allowed this married couple to control you.
OK, it has only lasted six weeks. This is not long enough to really know someone. That love you feel may fool you… you still don’t know them.
OK, it is online. Problematic. You only know what these two people decide to reveal. To me it sounds worrisome… you may be fooled or entrapped. They are paying for your plane ticket and everything to go to Vegas. What must you do in exchange?
It sounds as if this married couple will be using you sexually. How will you check out whether they have STDs? It seems they want to spice up their relationship by using you. After they have their way with you and probably go on to their next girl of amusement, where does that leave you? Please don’t trust that this whatever is going to go on for a long time. That would be foolish. Where are you left when this couple dumps you?
OK, one way to find out more is to pull your own strings by delaying the meeting in Vegas. See what their reaction is. If they break up with you, it probably means they were up to no good and definitely means they don’t care about you… and you were nobody special to them.
Your mother and grandmother have the right to freak out and yell at you. You are glibly believing what these two tell you and accepting their money, This is not at all smart, safe, or responsible. They may be in their forties but are not your parent or grandparent. You should not glibly believe them.
There is no good way to tell your mother and grandmother. Just blurt it out if you make the decision to go ahead. Your mother and grandmother have the right to withdraw their support if you decide to do this. It is a decision that may have repercussions for you. Be prepared.
It doesn’t seem as if you are making a well-thought-out decision. Is this weird relationship really what you want to invest your precious time in? It sounds as if you are just looking for a good time… and expect this couple to protect you. However, you are old enough to protect yourself!
I can’t tell you what to do. I do hope you put more thought into this. What will you feel like after they use you and send you home used… and, perhaps, ashamed that you allowed them to take you in. Think about this a lot more. Write EWC anytime. Be careful as you proceed.
Letter #: 419205
Category: Family