A letter writer is hurt not to be asked for a coworkers’ leaving party.

There’s no harm in having a quiet word with the hosts, says our elder.

Dear EWC

There is a farewell party being organized for some colleagues that had to leave the company. Many people are invited, quite a few that had no (working) relationship with the people that are leaving. I had a lot to do with those leaving and dealt with them on a daily basis but I am not invited. There is a chance this is done on purpose but there is more chance that I am simply forgotten. Either way, this is hurting my feelings. What should I do? Address the organizers (with the risk of being invited even though they did not want me to be there) or let it go?

GrannyJ replies

Thank you for writing to EWC. I have to admit that I am not a fan of those kinds of parties where some co-workers are invited and others are not. Those giving the party are certainly entitled to invite whomever they please, and sometimes it’s necessary to limit the guest list to save money, etc., but my personal preference is to try not to exclude anyone in that type of situation. With that being said, I think there is nothing wrong with you quietly approaching the host(s) and asking if perhaps your invitation was lost, or you were accidentally omitted, because you were closely associated with the guests of honor, and felt sure you would have been included. There is always the possibility that is what happened. However, I think you should be prepared for the possibility that you were, indeed, not invited, just so that you are not further hurt or offended. I hope that’s not the case!

Good luck. I hope my advice will help and I hope it all works out for you.

Letter #: 436736
Category: Career