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Losing interest in stuff I love

Whether it’s due to the pandemic or just needing to talk, our elder says it’s important to keep making an effort. Read on for her tips on re-engaging with life.

Dear EWC:

So for the past few months I don’t know what to do… Like literally don’t know what to do. I used to paint and draw, I even sold most of my artworks. I was mostly content with my life, and then I don’t know if it’s the pandemic or what? But I just lost interest in all of my hobbies. I no longer even play my guitar. Then, earlier today, six of my pet Koi fish died. I don’t even have the time to mourn, cuz I have to study for my online classes.

Other than that, my close friends and I no longer keep in touch that much… I get it cuz we are all busy with our lives. But recently I saw their posts on social media that they all went out for drinks without even bothering to invite me. What I hate the most is that they use all my vulnerable stories that I share to them, thinking that they’d keep it a secret, against me as a joke. I mean I get it; it’s a joke so I shouldn’t take it seriously, but jokes are half meant. I mean yeah… my issues may be shallow.
But I just need someone to talk to cuz I’m always bombarded by these thoughts. And I can’t focus. That would be all… I guess? But I do hope you read this, and I can’t wait for the reply. Thank you.

Susan replies:

It must have been very hard to see that your friends went out and didn’t include you. I don’t blame you for being hurt. Sometimes people leave others out on purpose, and other times, they just decide to ask a few people rather than all their friends and don’t mean to hurt anyone’s feelings.

It does sound like you want other people to talk to who will keep what you say confidential. The pandemic has made it harder to find people to talk to since we are all stuck inside so much more. Do you know other people who might like a phone call because they’ve been isolated? If you could find some others who are feeling lonely, that could help you get a little more social.
However, the lack of interest in your hobbies could be an indication that you are depressed and need some counseling help. Some schools have counselors on staff and you can make an appointment to talk to the counselor. Some teachers are also available to talk to. Or, if you have a religious leader in your life, you could try to talk to that person. Your family doctor could figure out if you are depressed and then could refer you for counseling. Or depending on where you live, you could search for counselors online. I think that getting some counseling might be helpful.
I would take a few minutes from your day to mourn the death of your fish. You can’t study all day and just saying goodbye to the fish could make you feel a little better.

A lot of people are feeling as you do now, but knowing that, doesn’t make the down feelings go away. I would look for any activity that gives you some pleasure. Just making yourself play the guitar for five minutes might make you feel better. Please make sure you are exercising, sleeping enough, and eating well as all those help your mood. There are some free apps like Calm and Headspace that teach techniques of mindfulness; something like that may help improve your mood. I hope these suggestions are helpful and that you start feeling a little better soon.

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