Friendless and humiliated

I’ve struggled to make friends at my new high school and to make it worse, my teacher screamed at me. 

Her behavior was not appropriate, says our elder. It’s time to seek help.

Dear EWC

I joined a new high school last year. Things were OK except for the fact I didn’t have any close friends. I didn’t mind it at first because I don’t enjoy much company. Still I don’t have friends but now I feel so lonely, even some teachers hate me so much. Today a teacher humiliated me in front of the whole class by screaming at me. I was so ashamed. I was on the verge of crying but I controlled myself. She even sometimes humiliates me saying that I don’t have any friends. I feel so depressed I don’t have anybody to tell my feelings to; my parents and I aren’t that close.


Jay replies

Thank you so much for reaching out to us.

First, I think you should know that generally high school is not an easy time for anyone. However, the verbal abuse from your teacher is not appropriate adult behavior, and certainly not for a teacher. Perhaps you should have a private conversation with her and politely tell her how she is hurting your feelings. She might even have some constructive suggestions, if you ask her for them. If the abuse continues, however, then you might want to talk to a school counselor or other school official.

Second, I think you should consider ways to combat your feelings of loneliness. One point to consider is that I guarantee that there are other students who share the same feelings. You should try to seek them out. If you see someone who is sitting by himself or herself in the cafeteria or outside, for instance, sit down next to that student and try striking up a conversation. You may be able to begin a new friendship. 

Another way to combat your loneliness is to participate in extracurricular activities that interest you. Sharing common interests is a good way to connect with other students. 

Finally, if nothing else works, and you continue to feel depressed, you should reach out to a school counselor or to your parents, and consider professional help. From your letter I cannot evaluate how depressed you are, and whether there are any clinical reasons for your depression, but as tough emotionally as high school can be for some students, you should not have to needlessly suffer through depression when help may be available.

I hope you find some friends and start feeling better about yourself and about high school in general. 

School #463779

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