Should I send that $200?

A letter writer isn’t close to her grandniece but wanted to send her a graduation gift anyway. 

Our elder is clear on this one: send the gift!


Dear EWC

Hello! My grandniece graduated from high school this summer. She is my sister’s granddaughter. I am close to my sister but not close to my grandniece. She lives in another state and we rarely see one another or talk. She isn’t really good about keeping in touch with my sister either. I never received a notice that she graduated nor did she have a party so no invite. I had planned on sending her a card with $200. Hoping she could use it for furthering her education but as far as I know she has no plans for that either. I know I can’t put conditions on how she would spend the money. Bottom line, she has not reached out about her graduation and it kind of upsets me. I’m torn about sending anything. I don’t want my sister judging me. My sister was quite generous when my daughter graduated but they are very close. What should I do? Am I obligated to send something? Thanks!


PureSue replies

Definitely send the $200 card! Your generosity will be gratefully received. An important benefit to you as you place it in the mail, is to smile and feel incredibly pleased that you honored yourself and followed through. There will be no judgments from your sister and this will be off your mind. 

Your smile will please you as you have stepped out of the box by allowing your grandniece to spend this money any way she wants and that’s wonderful. No one wants a gift with instructions or attachments, so you are doing it right.

Find comfort and rest assured that she will use her money for something she desires which very well may improve her desire for further studies. A new pair of jeans or bag can remind her that you gave her this generous gift all while she readies for her next adventure. 

An unexpected gift such as yours does a lot more than just send money; it brings recognition for her achievement, freedom, responsibility and makes life fun. Isn’t that what gift giving is all about?

Oh, and as best you can, don’t look for a thank you reply either. When you give only do it for that reason alone, as giving is for giving and with no expectations of getting anything in return. With that attitude imagine how you will feel when you do get a thanks.

Article #: 480056

Category: Family

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