“Stop being sad and lazy”

When I told my parents about having depression, they didn’t understand. 

Talk to them again, says our elder. And find a trusted adult who can get you the help you need.


Dear EWC


About a month ago, I told my parents that I may have depression. I showed them a few online tests I did which showed that I have severe depression and stress. They took it quite well and told me that they would find a therapist for me but they never did. My dad thinks depression is like sadness. Every morning before he sends me to school, he plays this motivational speech video and keeps telling me to stop being sad and lazy. My mom, on the other hand, read my diary and lectured me on how I should stop having these thoughts. I don’t know what to do. I have no friends to talk to. I was thinking of talking to my school counselor but I am scared that they would tell my parents. I have no one to turn to except the Internet.


Scriber replies


I’m so glad you reached out to EWC for advice. Even though your parents didn’t find a therapist for you after you told them about a month ago that you were feeling depressed and stressed, you should tell them again how you are feeling now. Explain to them exactly how you’re feeling, and give them specific examples of when you are experiencing these feelings and tell them that you need to get some professional help. Please talk to them today. 


Also, please talk with your guidance counselor today and explain to him/her exactly how you’re feeling. You wrote in your letter that you’re scared that the guidance counselor would tell your parents, but isn’t that exactly what your parents need to know? You tried to explain to them last month that you were feeling depressed and you indicated that “they took it quite well” although they didn’t get professional help for you at that time. What is your concern for not wanting your parents to know if you talked with a guidance counselor? Are you worried that you will get in some kind of trouble with your parents? Talking to your guidance counselor will provide further proof to your parents that you’re serious about needing help right now. There’s no shame in asking for help. You would be doing the very best thing for yourself by reaching out in-person for assistance. It shows that you know how to be your own advocate. I don’t know your age, or where you live, but the fact that you took the initiative to reach out to EWC shows that you really do want help with your depression. Now you have to take it a step further and reach out to someone in-person. 


Perhaps your parents are trying to help you by playing the motivational speech and lecturing to you, but their methods aren’t working, right? Sometimes parents do the best they can, but it isn’t always enough. Your parents aren’t equipped to handle the kind of issues you’re dealing with right now. So, now it’s time to tell someone outside of your home, like your guidance counselor, how you’re feeling. You can even print out your letter to EWC and my response and then show it to the counselor. If your guidance counselor isn’t available today, for some reason, talk to a trusted teacher or the principal. It’s important that you don’t keep your thoughts to yourself. I’m sorry that you feel like you don’t have any friends to confide in, but there are many adults at your school who will help you. Please take the next step today and reach out to an adult at your school. 


Please write back and let me know that you followed through with talking to your guidance counselor and/or another adult at your school. They will support and help you. I will be waiting for your response and I will be here for you. Just ask for Scriber. 


Article #: 485193

Category: Family

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