Will I meet someone like me?

This college student is finding it hard to make friends. 

You’ll never find someone exactly like you, says our elder. The key is to celebrate your individuality without regretting your differences.


Dear EWC

Hi! I am 19 years old. I am currently a college student taking a course that I honestly don’t like. With that, I am having a hard time making friends. I am an introvert, so maybe that’s why. But I’m not a typically introverted person who’s a fan of reading books or good at playing instruments. I am just an ordinary person trying to become a gentle person to everyone as much as possible. Because I know that every single person I’ve encountered is battling with something I cannot see. This is why sometimes I wonder: Will I ever meet a person just like me who always puts others before themselves? I always support my friends in everything they do in their lives, but why do I feel like no one sees me the way I see them?


Grandpa-Matt replies

Two forces prevent no one from seeing you the way you see them. Some explanation is necessary. We all wear lenses of perception, which is part of human consciousness that experiences reality, and the world is never precisely as we see it through our individual lenses.

We are always unique in all of our ways of recognizing ourselves from everyone else in our world. The second force is our ego, the part of our personality and the internal sense of self-esteem and pride that helps us feel good about who we are.

That is why you will never meet someone like you with the same values, drives, and desires. Life would be boring if others were precisely like you. No two snowflakes are the same in nature, although they appear so from any distance.

The internal battle we cannot see is between our nature to be introverted vs. being an extrovert. There are many gradients of such tendencies. I suggest celebrating your individuality without regretting your differences. In fact, it is essential to set and enforce your boundaries. For more on the subject, see

One of the great rules of life is to take care of yourself so that you can help care for others. It is the basis of the airline’s announcement to put on your oxygen mask first and then assist your neighbor. 

Remember, you are unique and relevant! The truth is that there is no one exactly like you. That is a blessing! Virginia Satir, an American author and therapist, wrote a piece, “I am Me,” which I encourage you to read.

Article #: 500408
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