The Very Bad Roommate

My roommate is so messy and makes so much noise that I am not getting enough sleep.” 

Our Elder says: “Establish firm boundaries and take care of yourself first. Your college may have resources to help you find a new place to live.” 


Dear EWC,

Hello! To give some information, I’m twenty-one, in my senior year of college. I’m currently student teaching, which is a heavy course load. My schedule requires that I am in bed by 10:00 pm at the latest, so I can be awake by 5:30 am.

My lease ends in May, but my roommate situation is not going well. I will spare the details, but they are messy and inconsiderate about noise. They also drink heavily, which is a terrible mix for my lifestyle. I have had many conversations, calmly trying to compromise and make the house a better place for me, but after each conversation, no changes are made. I’ve been incredibly on edge with the mean attitudes and ignoring me and disrespect. I feel nervous to go into my own house.

I’m now working on switching units in my apartment complex to find a better fit for my life. My question is: How can I make the best of a bad situation? How do I make this bearable until I get transferred—if that ends up being a possibility. Best, Sabrina


SaraJane Response

I’m really sorry to hear about the challenging living situation you are facing with your roommate. It must be incredibly stressful, especially when it affects your well-being and ability to focus on your studies. I want you to know that your feelings are valid, and I empathize with the difficulties you’re experiencing. My first suggestion is to be brave and continue to assert your rights. Here are a few suggestions to help you navigate this situation:

  1. Prioritize your well-being: Take time for self-care, and prioritize activities that bring you peace and relaxation outside of the apartment. Engage in activities that help you unwind and reduce stress. This can include anything from practicing mindfulness, exercising, journaling, or spending time with supportive friends or family.
  2. Seek support from friends and loved ones: It’s important to share your feelings and concerns with those close to you. Reach out to supportive friends, family, or mentors who can provide a listening ear and offer guidance. Opening up about your situation can help alleviate some of the emotional burden.
  3. Establish clear boundaries: I know you’ve tried to communicate your needs and boundaries to your roommate in a calm and respectful manner. Let them know about your study schedule, sleep routine, and cleanliness expectations. While there’s no guarantee they will change their behavior, it’s essential to assert your needs and make it clear what you require in order to feel safe and comfortable at home.
  4. Explore temporary accommodation options: If the situation doesn’t improve despite your efforts, consider looking for temporary alternatives. Is there a friend who could offer a spare room for you to stay in until you can secure a different living arrangement? Exploring other short-term housing options might provide you with some respite and a more conducive environment for your studies.
  5. Seek college resources: Reach out to the housing department or student affairs office at your college to see if they can provide any assistance or offer guidance on finding alternative housing solutions. Colleges often have resources available for students facing housing difficulties, so it’s worth exploring what options might be available to you.

Remember, you are not alone in this situation; there are people who genuinely care about your well-being. It may take time and effort, but by prioritizing your needs, seeking support, and exploring available resources, you can find a more suitable living situation that allows you to focus on your studies and thrive.

I hope these suggestions are helpful. Remember, you are strong and can make a stand for what you need

Best Regards,


Article #: 502126
Category: Other

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