When you start a new school, the last thing you want is for everyone to know about your porn habit.

 

Can our elder come up with some strategies to help limit the damage?

 

Dear EWC

I just transferred to another school. The few months were great. I feel homesick because my friends are in the other school. Now, someone started a rumor about me, saying that I watch porn. It’s true, it’s true and I know that they watch too. Now, they’re spreading the rumors and I can easily read the faces they make and the laughs I hear. Now, I need help. If you were one of the students in the school and you heard the rumor/gossip about me, would you be disgusted by me? I just want to know the POV of every student here. Have you experienced this situation too? How long did it last?

Helen replies

You cannot know the point of view of every student at your school.  And no, I would not be disgusted by you or anyone else watching porn.  

I have not experienced this situation but I have had unpleasant experiences in my life.  I have lived and worked in many states and in Europe.  When we are put into a cultural environment that is different from that with which we are familiar, we can have problems.  We learn to cope and deal with it and then, to move on.  Stay busy.  Participate in extra-curricular activities that you enjoy.  There, you will meet others who have similar interests and you can become friends with those with whom you have something in common.  Missing your friends will get easier as time goes by.

You will have similar experiences all your life.  I don’t know what grade you’re in but when you go away to college, you will meet new people and you will make new friends.  Some of them will be ‘different’ and you will learn to cope.  

Watching porn is your business.  Whether others watch it or not isn’t important.  If someone started a ‘rumor’ you can’t control that.  But, you can control your reaction to it.  Don’t react in a manner that will add fuel to the fire.  Ignore them and they’ll get tired of wasting their time on this.  Then, they’ll concentrate on another person and/or rumor.  If you react in a negative manner, they will continue to spread this gossip about you.  

I don’t know how this rumor got started but I’ll caution you not to tell everyone (or anyone) your personal business until you know them well enough to feel you can trust them.  

Stop worrying about what others are doing.  You can only control what you do.  Don’t allow them to have this power over you.

This is the best advice I can offer you.  I hope it helps and that everything works out well for you.

Best Regards,

Elder Helen

Reference: #411882