I have feelings for my teacher

If I just keep quiet about my crush, will it go away?

Er, no, says our elder. Talk it through with someone you trust.

Dear EWC

Hello, so I have a problem. This year I started to get along with my English teacher, and I think I started developing feelings for her. It started when I first told her about problems that go in my family and she comforted me, hugged me and told me to come to her if I need any help. So I’m not sure if it’s really a crush or is it just a need for a physical contact with a person. Also I’m not going to tell anything to my teacher or any other person, but I still feel afraid of what is happening with my feelings. I see my English teacher five times a week. And I’m scared: what if anyone notices my feelings for her? And also I go to a psychologist once in a week, so maybe I should talk to her about it, but not mention my teacher? Or should I just keep quiet about it and try to see if it goes away?

Elder June-Bug replies

It sounds like you are going through some tough times right now. It is understandable that you would develop a crush on a person who is kind and caring, especially at a time like this when you need “a shoulder to cry on.” There is nothing wrong with having a crush. It’s natural. And there’s nothing wrong with your teacher listening and offering comforting words. It would be inappropriate however, for either of you to cross the line to having a romantic relationship. I don’t know how old you are. If you are under 18, it may be criminal for your teacher to engage in a romantic relationship with you. Even if you are over 18, your teacher is in a position of authority, which makes it wrong for her to engage in anything beyond a teacher/student relationship with you. It is important for you both to maintain the boundaries between teacher and student.

I’m really glad to hear that you are seeing a psychologist. I think you should definitely tell her about this. Tell her everything. Don’t hold anything back. She needs to know the facts so that she can help you to work through your feelings.

I hope that your family issues get resolved soon. If not, I hope that you find a way to cope with the difficulties you are facing and to move through this difficult period in your life. I am confident that someday you will find a loving relationship with someone who is your peer. Good luck.

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