It was funny the first time but now it’s a drag. How can I stop my friend responding for me?

Keep your phone away from her for a start, says our elder.

Dear EWC

So I have this crush on a guy. We Snapchat all the time and it’s always really good and interesting conversations. My best friend once started responding for me (sounds weird but it was really funny) but she grabbed my phone from me the other day and did it again. And today while I was grabbing something she answered without my permission. It was funny the first time… but she does it a lot. When I got mad this past time she threw my phone down on the table. She knows I like him and this feels very undermining. She’s trying to take him from me and I know if I bring it up she’ll get defensive and mad. I really like this guy but it’s not really about him. It’s about how she’s doing this even though she knows it will hurt me.

Good-Listener replies

I can understand the frustration and anger towards your “friend” for taking your phone and behaving in such an inconsiderate manner. I know you get that it was a mistake to allow her access to your phone in the first place, but what’s done is done.

You seem to be very aware of the situation, so you have that in your corner.  Why your friend is doing this I can’t say, but let’s just agree, she likely has “issues”.  A friend does not behave in the manner she is, and my only advice is that if you continue to be friends with her… buyer beware.  She is inconsiderate and, yes, undermining at best, cruel at worst. If you want to continue your friendship with her, understand that she will likely continue to perform these kinds of acts, and you will continue to feel bad. I would start backing away from the “friendship” (notice I keep putting it in quotes, because, “with ‘friends’ like that, who needs enemies”?) You are also correct that, it’s not really about the guy—because this girl will likely try another stunt in some other way.  But let’s be practical… keep your phone out of her grasp! Then start looking for other people to hang with. Otherwise, accept who she is and the consequences of how she treats you. I think you know what’s best for you, so you’ll make the correct decision. Good luck!

Reference 428595
Category: friendship

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