Am I wrong to be jealous?

A letter writer feels sad when her husband looks at beautiful women in the street.

Luckily, our elder has the perfect strategy for dealing with this…

Dear EWC

I know my husband loves me and would never leave or cheat. In the past, he has taken a picture of other women and asked to see other women naked online. I almost didn’t want to get married because he took a picture of some women at Hooters about a month before our wedding. He has stopped now, but every time he looks at another beautiful woman on TV, in a magazine, or just walking down the street I get very sad. I think he wants them. I look at them and think I am not as pretty. I am not good enough. He likes them more. So am I just jealous or is it something else?

Dayle replies

Yes, you are jealous, but this is also something else. Men like to look at beautiful women’s bodies, and they also, I believe, prefer it as a secret pleasure. I was in the home of a married couple where the husband had cut out the centerfolds of Playboy magazine and pasted them up in the laundry room of their house. This was early in their marriage. After I saw this, I said to the young man, “How would you feel if your wife took centerfolds from Playgirl magazine and put the nearly naked men up all over the kitchen walls? If you wouldn’t like that, perhaps these need to come down.” I also reminded him that once they were married, her body should be the one he honored and admired most. Not while I was there, but the pictures came down.

I’m glad to hear that your husband has stopped taking pictures or looking at naked women online. Thank him for doing that. And if you see his eye wandering toward beautiful women on the street, TV or magazine, just comment on their beauty yourself. “What gorgeous hair, what a lovely walk, pretty big eyes!”. Can’t say why, for sure, but for some reason, that becomes a kind of downer for a guy. And then think to yourself, “He may like to look, but after all, he’s mine”.

Letter #: 438394
Category: Marriage

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