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I didn’t show up for my crush

There’s this girl I like… but I didn’t show up for a club meeting and now it’s awkward!

We all make mistakes, says our elder. It’s how you handle them that matters.

Dear EWC

Hi! I’m really thankful for your time to read over my letter. I hope that it’s not bad enough for you to cringe in fear; however, I also hope that I am not being overdramatic. I have a crush on the Gay-Straight Alliance club president, and that, in addition to my passion for social justice is the reason why I joined. Both the girl I like and I are pan-sexual. Theoretically speaking, I do have a chance. A week ago I emailed her with an opportunity I found to volunteer with the younger kids I know through an organization I am part of. It is K-12, and enough of the kids were interested in social justice so I figured I could get to know her through a coordinated event. Basically, I could show I cared a lot about the club and make a move at the same time. However, on the day that I was supposed to come and explain what my ideas were, I had to stay behind for a chemistry lab. My friend was there at the meeting and said that it basically fell apart after two minutes. I feel hellishly bad about not showing up, but I also don’t know how to face her because I’ve never had a conversation with her, and my first impression is literally not being there. Based on how you’ve seen relationships start/break down, how badly did I mess up? For her personality, she’s incredibly bright and cheerful, with an affinity for small cute things and Minecraft. From what I’ve seen, she’s really sweet, but that’s exactly what makes me feel horrible.

Shine-Bright replies

No! I’m not cringing but, also understand that when you are younger and your emotional life is just being developed, things that happen tend to be a bit… bloated or as you say, “dramatic”. As one grows older you learn that getting caught up in the drama only keeps you spinning and not moving forward towards a solution or new behavior. And, I’m here to say that your first inclination (while it may not feel too terrific) towards taking responsibility is very mature.
I applaud you for pursuing romance while staying true to your interests and passions. This can create a wonderful basis for relationships and friendships.

Sometimes things come up and changes cannot be avoided but, that is when you go the extra mile to be responsible and notify others or switch the times, etc. When people cannot accept changes or are not empathetic towards changes, this is an indication of their character. But, from what you have written my sense is that you are assuming that your friend feels negatively towards you about this. Making assumptions can always get you in to trouble! Don’t sell yourself short. So, I suggest that you contact her and apologize. Wouldn’t you want to be apologized to? She can then see your maturity, sensitivity and responsible nature.

Make your apology in a witty or appealing way — not a text — that seems so pedestrian! Be sincere and maybe even say you want to make it up to her with lunch or after school ice cream. Think positive and you’ll get positive. Show her that you are a committed individual with passions that sometimes makes mistakes. We are all human and it is how you handle the mistakes that define you — not the mistakes.
Please feel free to contact Elder Wisdom Circle any time — we are here for you.
Wishing you well.

Letter #: 447864
Category: Dating/Relationship

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