He says I need to go to the gym every day, but my uncle disagrees.

Listen to your uncle, says our elder, and don’t feel bullied into doing anything you don’t want to do.

Dear EWC

Recently I’ve joined a new gym with a boy from work, but he has been going to the gym a lot longer than me and can lift bigger weights than me. I want to keep going but keep on thinking he will beat me up if I don’t go. Will you be able to tell me what to say to him so he won’t beat me up if he thinks about it? I am 14 and going to start going to the gym every day even though my uncle said it’s not good to go every day and you need rest. My co-worker said that “you will rest when you’re dead” and then laughed at me. Thanks for your help.

Ketchman replies

Thank you for contacting us. I’ll try to help.
I think you need to ask yourself a few questions, the first being; do you really want to go to the gym for the purpose of getting more physically fit, or because your co-worker wants you to? You should only go if you, yourself, really want to and not because someone else is urging you to. That’s a very important question to answer. One of the things I’ve learned, over many years is that when we allow ourselves to have our actions controlled by others we, very often, find ourselves in situations that we later regret. There’s nothing wrong in listening to others’ suggestions and, if you really agree with them, go along with the idea but only if you think the suggestion is in your interests, not just because you were told to do it.

If the main reason you are continuing to go to the gym is because your co-worker is threatening to beat you up if you don’t, that situation needs to stop. You should never do something you don’t want to do out of fear of violence. If he, or anyone else, figures out they can make you do whatever they want by threatening you there’s no stopping them from forcing you to do other, worse things. Please don’t get yourself into that position. If you feel threatened you need to speak to an adult you can trust. Your parents, perhaps, a teacher, or your uncle and ask for their help and advice.
I think your uncle gave you some very good advice. It’s my understanding that, at 14 years old, your body is still developing and constant, high stress exercise like weightlifting done daily can harm you more than it can help. I’m certainly not an expert on that and I’m pretty sure that your co-worker isn’t one either. The gym you’re going to probably has one or more professional trainers on their staff and, if so, those are the people you need to get advice from on what would be the best exercise program for your age and physical condition. If someone wants to laugh at you for taking their advice instead of his, just keep in mind that his laughter is based in ignorance and no attention need, or should, be paid to it.

Please continue to use us anytime you’d like a bit of advice or another opinion on anything you could use some assistance with. There’s always someone here for you. Thank you for giving me a chance to help. I hope I have.

Letter #: 454509
Category: Self-Improvement