This youth obsession is getting to me. Is it all over for me at 29? Wow, you need some new friends, says our elder. You are just getting started!

Dear EWC

I witness all these people condemning women over 30 and downright degrading women for… living a life, basically. I try to remember that these people are really jaded/youth-obsessed and that it’s absurd to be affected by it, but I am. I just turned 29 and I’ve always looked forward to this time in my life but now the biological clock and ‘women in their thirties are damaged goods’ people are getting to me (maybe just my ego) and I was wondering if you have any wisdom on how to let go of this? I feel that my ability to self-evaluate and improve is hindered because I feel like it’s all over for me (even though I know that’s ridiculous). Any encouragement or advice is much appreciated.

Granny-Nora replies

When I read your letter, my first thought was, “Wow, who is this woman’s circle of friends?” You need people around you who can love and support; not tear you down. Whoever the people are in your life who are treating women over 30 as “damaged goods” are pretty shallow — not to mention uncaring and unloving. Don’t listen to these people!

I am here to tell you that the best part of life happens after 60! My husband is 77, and I will be 65 in December. If anyone ever told me I was “damaged goods,” I’d probably punch their lights out!
A good friend of mine turned 100 in June. Sh
e still wears stiletto heels, dresses to the hilt, drives, sits on the board of directors for multiple charities, and recently hosted a luncheon in her home for our friend group of 12 women. I’m positive she would punch someone’s lights out if they called her damaged goods!
As for the biological clock comments, those are coming from pretty insensitive people. Your biological clock is nobody’s business but your own. Live your life the best way you know how, and ignore people who make such comments.
Life is not “all over” for you at 29 years old. Your life has barely begun. You have a lot of wonderful days ahead. Please, please, ignore anyone who tells you something different — and consider finding a different (and more positive) group of friends who lift and support instead of dragging you down.

Letter #: 448860
Category: Self-Improvement