My school life is miserable

Bullied and ridiculed, it’s no wonder this student wants out!

Before bailing on school, our elder suggests asking for help from the adults.

Dear EWC:

So there’s quite a few people at school that I can’t deal with anymore. One person has constantly physically abused me: throwing blades at me, throwing punch pins at me, punching me, etc. One person in my friend group constantly ridicules me and puts me down.

They basically say that I’m not good enough for the world and shouldn’t be here. They point out specific things about me that make me really insecure, and I’m usually a pretty confident person. I’m a pretty social person so I tend to talk to a lot of people from different friend groups and a lot of my ‘friends’ are just my friend so they can be more popular. Many of the people that I’ve been friends with for years started to tell me that since I don’t sit by them at lunch, I’m not allowed to be friends with them.

My parents were never married so I have my dad in a city close to where me and my mom live and I want to move in with my dad so I can go to school there. I love my mom and she has depression so I’m afraid if I leave she’ll be even more sad, because she says sometimes that she’s glad I’m there because ‘I’m all she has.’ I don’t want to be selfish and stay with my mom but I don’t want to stay at my school.

Bill replies:

I’m glad you’ve reached out to us here at EWC. I hope these thoughts will be helpful.
You describe a difficult situation. Have you asked your father and/or your mother for help and support, and ideas for resolving your school situation? If not, that is something you should do; ask them for their advice.
Your concern for your mother is natural and admirable. My sense, though, is that your young life deserves at least an even chance at a successful life; your needs are at least as important as the needs of anyone else in your family. It is the inherent responsibility of any parent to help, support and encourage each of their children.
If you consult each parent, you may either be asked if you’ve explored the possibility of resolving your challenges, thereby leaving you free to stay in your school, or to justify your decision not to try to improve things at your present school. One example of how you might try to improve relationships at your current school: if you were my child, I’d work with you by getting an appointment for the two of us with your principal, hoping that s/he would offer some ideas, and some active support to ease tensions in your life at school.

I wish you all the best in working through this. I do hope this letter will give you some new ideas for resolving your situation.


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