The curve that is coronavirus

Can this couple survive so much time alone?

Team up, says our elder, and you just might find new ways to be together.

Dear EWC:

My boyfriend Sam and I have been together for almost a year. Because of Corona, we can’t see each other all that often, and it’s taking a huge toll on our relationship. We see each other once a month or so. We don’t go on dates, only to each other’s houses. It’s caused a lot of fights.

During conversations, we have nothing to talk about, because we don’t do anything together anymore. Almost every aspect of our lives used to be one in the same, and we had our own personal interests, but so much was the same, we were able to bond and enjoy our time together. Also, his friends caused some really bad drama around that time that wasn’t dealt with well.

Just a few minutes ago, we were on the phone for hours, crying, because we’re not sure if we’re gonna pull through. We can’t have good conversations, we’re so resentful of each other because we’re always irritated that we can’t fulfill each other’s needs over the phone, we’re on our last ropes with each other. We both say that we love each other, and we have the same values and like spending time together (in person mostly), and I’d be absolutely devastated if we broke up. And he would too. I don’t know what to do, how do I save this? Help.

Papa-Dude replies:

Life has a way of throwing us curves. I’m sorry that this is hurting your relationship with your boyfriend. I know it must be both scary and painful to think this could destroy your future with him.
Why don’t the two of you get together and talk about how you both feel about the situation. Once you do that you can work as a team to figure out how to make things better. Maybe you can figure out ways of being together that are interesting for both of you. Things like taking walks, or maybe going to eat together, or any activity that you can still do together.

It’s not uncommon for people to run out of things to talk about. Some people are good at keeping conversations lively, while others like me are not. There is nothing wrong with silence. Just being with each other may be enough if you lose the pressure of making conversation.

I wish you well. Work with each other to make this virus an opportunity rather than a barrier. The fact is that if you care about each other, it’s up to you to figure things out together. Work together to turn this into an opportunity; I know it’s possible; it’s really up to the two of you.


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