I’m not appreciated

Discouraged about life and not sure where to turn?

Our elder advises that you’re not alone. Read on for her encouraging words about finding your way.

Dear EWC:

Hi! I wrote this letter because I need some advice. So lately I have been through something and it makes me lose Interest again in everything. I just don’t know my purpose anymore. I feel like I never did something right or something that was worth to be appreciated. I feel like I am tired of doing something that no one could appreciate and I start to ask myself if why am I still doing this?

No one appreciates my efforts and it makes me feel sad. They always thought that I’m fine but they don’t know I’m not and I wish they’re aware of that. I am just tired of everything and everyone. People judge you more than to believe you when you try to speak they wouldn’t believe you, when you try to explain they wouldn’t let you.

So tell me, how can people understand my feelings, if they are too blind to see and too deaf to hear.

Sparks replies:

I am so sorry that you have just been “through something” that is causing you to feel discouraged about your life, its meaning and value.
It takes time to re-establish a sense of equilibrium after any situation that causes hurt, anger, and/or emotional pain. Where you are right now is actually a way of healing. Sometimes we do need to pull back for a while and take care of our wounds. It may even mean feeling a little sorry for ourselves. But don’t stay there too long. While you are “hiding”, use your time to understand what the universe wants you to learn from the experience. Often the negative experiences in our lives are what bring us to periods of “new awakenings”. Believe in that girl behind the mask! She is wiser than you think!

You are not alone in wondering what if any value you are contributing to your world. If you go on the internet and do a search for “finding one’s life purpose” you will find thousands of comments. This need to feel valued by others is a universal longing. We all seek connection and meaning. It’s just too sad that so many people don’t realize how similar we all really are! Whenever we give to someone else we really give more to ourselves. If only we could all do a better job of helping each other on this journey.

For now, you may not be clear on your life purpose. But there are little things that you can do every day that might just make someone else’s day. Holding a door for someone whose arms are full of groceries, telling someone how much you appreciate them, making something special for a friend, texting someone just to say hello, etc. To this day I still remember a stranger who comforted me in an airport ladies room when I was far from home. I had just received some tragic news and could not hold back the tears. Her comforting words and presence helped me pull myself together. I wish I had gotten her name. Another time, a woman who I did not know told me I was so pretty! My boyfriend had just broken up with me. Over 50 years later, I still remember her too!

Over the years I have finally realized that no one can give me the feeling of being understood and valued better than me. I actually think that learning how to do this is THE biggest quest in life! So, it is your job and no one else’s to listen to yourself and to value yourself for who you are. And really, no one can do it quite as well as you can!

It’s rather a long journey but the fact that you were seeking some assistance tells me that you are up to the challenge. Stay well and focus on the good in yourself and in the world. It is always there if you look for it!


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