Moving beyond the friend zone

Her flirting has this bestie wondering if they’re more than just friends.

No wonder you’re confused, says our elder! But only she knows for sure.

Dear EWC:

Hi! One of my closest friends has recently raised suspicion on my part. The other day she revealed to me that she was ‘very fond’ of me in the past when we were talking about her first crushes.

We’ve been best friends for 2 years and she and I have had many fights, but are now on very good terms and talk every day. When we talk she and I laugh a lot, she hugs me and plays with my hair, and she makes faces at me in class as a joke. Some people have thought she had a crush on me before. The only thing is we have had serious fights before and even though it’s okay now, they really did affect her. She and I are very different and I’m not her ideal ‘type’ but she flirts with me a lot. I don’t know if it’s just a friend thing, please help me.

Good-Listener replies:

I can understand the confusion about your friend’s feelings for you so let’s break it down a little more. I can’t possibly tell you what she is feeling. I can only look at the facts, and tell you what it looks like to me, logically. First off, you ARE good friends. And, the fact that you do have these disagreements and then get back together says to me that there are a lot of emotions flying around. Generally when you don’t care about someone you walk away or ignore them or tell them to.

You guys now talk every day, laugh, and share a lot of good times. She is also physically affectionate with you. That sounds like more than friends to me, but again – only she knows the truth. What I say about types is that the minute someone has a “type” someone comes along that isn’t their type and they fall hard. When I was young I had a “type” of guy I was attracted to then along came someone who looked NOTHING like that, and I fell all over myself in a deep crush. It happened more than once!

If you’re asking what to do, keep hanging out and see where it goes. It does sound as if you have a deep friendship, and if it goes further, great. If not, you still may have a dear friend for life. Good luck!


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