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Advice for your younger self

This 20 year-old wonders what words of wisdom our elder would have offered himself. Read on for his reflections on what he’s learned over the years.

Dear EWC:

Hello! I just turned 20 yesterday! I’m in my 3rd year at university, majoring in English Lit and doing a double minor in Language Studies and Spanish. I don’t have some big issue or conflict that I need guidance through. Really, I just want to know what you would tell yourself at 20. Knowing what you know now, what piece of advice would you bring to your own 20-year-old self to help them get through their twenties. Thank you for your guidance!

DonM replies:

Well, let me wish you a happy birthday a few days late. I hope it was a day with many good memories.
I hope your chosen major and minors reflect something you love. Studying is so much easier when you have a personal investment in the subject matter. A piece of good advice I received was doing what you love, and then find someone who will pay you to do it. Being satisfied in your career is a major component of being satisfied in life. Never do anything just for the money. I had the fortunate experience of doing what I loved for a career and I’m so thankful for that.

I think in my 20s I worried a lot. I worried about whom I’d end up with as a life partner; I worried about finding a job, etc. When you worry you begin asking yourself “what if?” When you do that you conjure up all sorts of negative consequences. “What if I don’t find a job?” “I’ll end up being homeless and living under a bridge.” When you find yourself doing that, ask instead “So, what if… When you do that your entire thought process changes. You begin to focus on alternatives and alternative paths that you can take. Your future will depend upon unforeseen circumstances (both good and bad) and the choices that you make. And, there are always choices. Not to decide is to decide. Inaction is a choice, so never give up the power of your own ability to choose.

In your life there will be good and bad. Some wonderful experiences and some that are unexpected and scary. Be secure in the fact that you will survive, and from any experience, you will learn. Personal confidence grows with life experience. Buy yourself a copy of the book “Oh The Places You’ll Go” and read it. There are many good lessons there that occasionally we need reminders of as we travel through life.

No choice or path has to last forever. We can choose to make changes at any point in our life. They are not always easy, but the power to choose is always with us.

So, these are some of my thoughts at this point in my life. I hope you find some of this useful, and I wish you the best in your future.

Self-Improvement
#468497

10 Comments

  1. Seneca is a 3.5 y/o girl in your preschool class. You learned that she was a premature baby at birth. She loves to sit and play at the dramatic play corner (pretend/housekeeping/doll corner). During circle time she is also quite active and could very much relate to other children in your class. However, there’s one thing that you notice about Seneca. Whenever another child in your class screams or is very ruggedly active, she would hide under the table or crawl up onto the bean cushion at the dramatic play area. How are you going to help Seneca – what would be the questions you would reflect on and find out to fully understand her?

    1. Administration Reply
      May 1, 2021

      Hello,
      If you’d like to connect with an elder for some advice on this, please go to our website and an elder will respond. They do not respond to posts on Facebook in order to maintain confidentiality. Thank you.

    2. im 29 years old female i just wanna ask if can i considered myself suffering from anxiety if i have these signs like i felt my body shaking specially in my knees, sometimes shortness of breathe but its bearable,palpatations, and have stomach acid? i remember it started last year during covid 19 hits all over the country …

      1. Administration Reply
        May 14, 2021

        Dear Vince, EWC is not able to give any sort of medical advice, however if you’d like to connect with an elder for some general advice on this, please go to our website and an elder will respond. Thank you.

  2. Visna Wijayagunawardana Reply
    May 25, 2021

    I am a nurse. I have 1child. He is 1year and 4months. I am working as a nurse. I feel loneliness, I am happy only with child. But some times I get angry with himself also. My question is If I have a psychiatric illness?

    1. Administration Reply
      May 26, 2021

      If you’d like to connect with an elder for some advice on this, please go to our website
      and an elder will respond. Thank you.

  3. Im 20 years old, 3rd year college
    I feel so heavy lately, i feel like im losing interest bout anything, just laying in my bed. Everything is f*ck up, i have bf we’re 4 years and i feel like he didn’t love me so much there’s always a doubt in me idk why maybe bcoz of the mistakes he did 1 year ago. And i don’t have a good family i can’t say to anyone my problems. I feel so heavy i feel so sad i feel like just wanna cry and more idk what to do

    1. Administration Reply
      June 24, 2021

      Dear Lyn, I’m so sorry you are facing these problems. If you’d like to connect with an elder for some advice on this, please go to our website and an elder will respond. They do not respond to posts on Facebook in order to maintain confidentiality. Thank you.

  4. Cheena May M. Petate Reply
    October 27, 2021

    I’ve loved someone na akala ko hindi mapapagod sa akin i need someone na may alam sa ganito kase sumasabay yung stress ko sa bahay and sa school so please help me

    1. Administration Reply
      October 27, 2021

      If you’d like to connect with an elder for some advice on this, please go to our website
      and an elder will respond. They do not respond to posts on Facebook in order to maintain confidentiality. Thank you.

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