This student feels guilty for studying at an expensive college when her parents would like her to transfer.

Think carefully, says our elder. You’re working hard, and a better college might lead to a better job.

 

Q. Dear EWC

This year has been a rough one and it’s not getting easier for me at all. I am currently a second year Medical Technology student at college and I have an issue. Recently, my parents mentioned that they would like me to transfer to a different university instead of the one I am in currently. For context, my uni isn’t bad, it’s quite competitive, it holds many achievements, and it is one of the best in its field but it is difficult, expensive at times and is quite inconsiderate when it comes to online school topics. My parents aren’t necessarily pushing or pressuring me to do so but the more I think about it the guiltier I get for staying. I have the greatest tuition out of all my siblings; it is inevitable because it is a medical course but it is still a lot. I am also not the most intelligent in my family, but I am surviving and I feel as though I don’t deserve this. I feel as though I’m being selfish by continuing to go to this school when I could find a much cheaper one to begin with. I did have to work hard to get in this school. I had to pass multiple exams and interviews to get in and I had to study my ass off to stay in it but is that enough to validate the money and effort I put my parents through? I honestly don’t know. I am conflicted on whether I stay or go. On what I want and what I should do.

 

A. Elder Maryanne replies

You have a very difficult decision to make and should think really carefully.

It is quite admirable that you are thinking about the burden tuition places on your parents. On the other hand, it sounds as though it was quite competitive to be admitted to this school. Schools that are more competitive show eventual employers that you are of a higher caliber than the other job candidates. The reputation of the school is also quite important.

Now, if you were failing in this school that might give you more cause to feel guilty about the money your parents are spending. It sounds, though, as if that is definitely not the case. It sounds as though you are working hard and doing well. You should be very proud of yourself.

The end result of this schooling is for you to have a good career. The tuition is an investment in your future. I would strongly advise you not to give up what you have worked so hard for. If you graduate from this school, you may get a better job than if you graduate from another school.

Maybe once you graduate and are working you could pay your parents back some of what they spent – would that make you feel better?  Have you discussed this type of a plan with them?

It is so very true that good things come to those who work for them. I think it is well worth your while and your parents’ money for you to work hard and graduate from this school. You worked hard to get in and I am not sure giving it up would be the best choice.

Please do write again if you would like to talk further.

Be well and safe.

 

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