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Wanted: new friends

How can I expand my friendship circle? 

Our elder advises an introvert to try reconnecting with her old friends from high school, as well as finding ways to be around new people.

 

Dear EWC

So I just feel confused about my friendship status with my friends since I have not been as close to them after finishing high school. How can I get back the close relationship with them as I had before? I would like you to give me some advice on how to stop being so introverted. I would like to expand my friendship circle but I don’t know how to be open to meeting new people. I had a best friend but I think she didn’t view me as her best friend, hence I broke ties with her since I felt as if it was a forced friendship. Do you think it was the best choice to do since I found out after that she was facing some problems? Maybe I should have understood her but she replaced me afterwards. I think I have to just find new friends, which has turned out to be a challenge since I am afraid to talk to new people.

 

GrannyJ replies

Thank you for writing to EWC. I’m sorry it has taken a while for someone to answer your letter, and I’ll be glad to help. It is not unusual for friends to lose touch after high school because they all go off into different directions, get involved in different things, and make new friends. I imagine this is what has happened with you and your friends. The only thing you can do is reach out to them and try to stay connected. I’m not sure about how the Covid-19 pandemic restrictions are being handled in your country but you can certainly try to stay in touch via text and phone calls, and possibly try to meet up with them while staying within the social distancing guidelines in your area. Maybe there are others that feel the same as you and would like to stay in touch. You won’t know if you don’t try, right? 

It’s too bad you lost touch with your former best friend. Yes, perhaps you might have tried to reach out to her a bit more while she was having problems, because that’s what friends do. However, it’s probably best to use that as a learning experience and put it behind you. You might consider sending her a message telling her you have been thinking of her and miss her, and hope she is doing well. That opens the door to more communication, and possibly reconnecting with her in the future. 

Lastly, meeting new people and making new friends is a great idea. You did not mention what you are doing now that you are out of school, but if you are working, that is a good place to find new friends. You might look into joining a club or hobbies or sports group, or doing some volunteer work, perhaps at a local animal shelter or food bank. These are all great places to meet new people, and it’s easier to get to know people and make friends if you are all working together and sharing common interests, particularly if you are an introvert. Participating and being involved in the project does a lot of the work of getting to know people because you are all working and communicating together toward a common goal. Just by being around new people will help you develop some confidence and skill at communicating.

I hope these ideas will be helpful to you and I wish you all the best. Please write again if you need more advice, and consider telling your friends and family about our service, if you feel inclined. Take care and good luck! 

Article #: 465638

Category: Friendship

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