A reluctant homecoming queen

I’ve been nominated for homecoming – but is it cheating on my boyfriend if I dance with the homecoming king? 

Not at all, says our elder. He’ll be proud of you. Enjoy the opportunity.


Dear EWC

I’m a sophomore in high school and I just found out I’m on the list of nominees for the homecoming game. I didn’t think I would get on the list nor did I think anyone would vote for me but I am happy and excited. The only problem is, I have a boyfriend who’s not nominated for Homecoming King which means I’m going to have to be paired with a boy who’s not my boyfriend and do the Homecoming King & Queen dance with a guy who’s not my boyfriend and it makes me feel bad. My boyfriend keeps telling me it’s fine but at the same time I feel really bad and it feels like I’m cheating on him. What should I do? I know my boyfriend feels a little jealous and bad and that makes me feel bad because I love him and I don’t want him to feel bad. What should I do? Am I technically cheating? 


Terry-Anne replies

Thank you for writing to Elder Wisdom Circle. I can certainly understand that you are conflicted over the situation.

In my opinion, people today have a confused idea of what constitutes cheating. I think cheating implies “in secret”. Your boyfriend is aware that you will be obligated to dance with another boy so I don’t think it is “cheating”. It seems to me your boyfriend would be proud of the fact that you had been nominated for this honor. 

This is a situation that requires maturity. If you and your boyfriend are not able to look at this as a fun and exciting event then maybe you shouldn’t participate at all. Also, this event is a memory you will carry forever and hopefully look on with fond remembrances. You need to decide now how you will feel in the future. Will you be happy you participated in this event or will you regret that you passed up on this opportunity?

I had a friend who was nominated as you are and even 50 years later, we talk about how much fun it was and she is still honored by it today. Her boyfriend had no hard feelings. I suggest you talk to your grandmother about this situation. Find out how she feels before you make your decision. If you don’t have a grandmother nearby, ask an older neighbor. 

Article #: 480949

Category: Dating/Relationship

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