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Should I send him “pictures”?

This letter writer is feeling pressured by an older boy. 

Think of the consequences, says our elder, and tell him a firm no.

 

Dear EWC

I’m 12 years old and I just got asked for “pictures”. I’m so scared right now, and I haven’t told anyone except my best friend. I want to tell my mom, but the app he asked on, I’m not even supposed to have. The worst thing is I will see him at school tomorrow and my best friend won’t be there because she goes to school on different days that I go. I am scared he will frame me or something. He is a year older than me and everyone likes him. So, if he does frame me, people will most likely believe him.

 

Hedwig replies

When I have a problem, I always ask myself “what if?” and try to look at possible consequences.

So…

What if you don’t tell your mom and things get worse and worse with him at school?

What if you don’t tell your mom and she finds out later anyhow?         

What if you do tell your mom and she gets angry? How long will the anger last? Keep in mind that parents really do love their children and want to protect them. What would you do if you were a mother, and this happened to one of your daughters? Wouldn’t you want to know? Unconditional love means that we love the person – no matter what the behavior. Nothing is unforgivable.

You can see that my advice is to tell your mom. This is too scary for you to handle alone and you do not know what this boy will demand after he gets the pictures – or what he will do with them.

Whose power do you want to live with – your parents’ or this boy’s. Your parents love you and want what is best for you. This boy only loves himself and enjoys the power he can hold over you. Never put yourself into anyone else’s power. Never send pictures! Nothing good can come of this. If he is the kind of person who would frame you, then he will frame you whatever you do. You will need to have your parents and your friends on your side. One best friend isn’t enough and will be helpless.

I suggest that you sit down quietly with your parents and tell them you have done something wrong and are now frightened about what is happening and need their help. Then admit being on the app and what happened next. Then get off this app and unfriend or block this boy!

And if you need to show your mom how very troubled you are by all of this, tell her that you wrote to us and show her the letter. Best of luck. As the mother of daughters, granddaughters and even great-granddaughters, I know your mom will understand and help you. She was once young, too, and doubtless made her own mistakes.

Article #: 472665

Category: Other

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