Blog

Pregnant at 14

Should I keep the baby? Think about the welfare of the baby, says our elder. 

Talk to your parents about how they feel, and you might want to think about adoption.

 

Dear EWC

I’m 14 years old; I’ll be 15 in three months. Right now, I’m struggling with something you probably haven’t dealt with before but I have nowhere else to turn to for advice. My boyfriend and I just found out I’m pregnant and we have no clue what to do. A lot of people ask me if I knew I could get pregnant without protection and yes, I knew but I guess at the time I wasn’t thinking about getting pregnant so we only used protection sometimes and I know now we should’ve been more careful but it’s too late to think about that now since I’m already pregnant. When I first found out, I had a mix of emotions and my parents were really upset, especially my dad but when I told my boyfriend, he was even more upset. He and I both agreed that I should get an abortion even though I really didn’t know how I felt about it but when I went to the doctor, they told me that I’m almost five months pregnant and that by law it’s already too late for me to have one. My boyfriend was upset by this news and when I told him that this is probably God’s plan and maybe this is how things are supposed to be – he told me I was crazy and that I needed to stop living in a fairy tale. I don’t know what to do. What if I decide to keep the baby? What will I do?

 

Granny-Nora replies

I’m so sorry you are going through this. This is not an easy thing. Hopefully, I can say something here that will help.

Don’t look back. You’ve made a mistake, and it is never good to look back. I try to take my own mistakes and learn something from them. I try not to make the same mistakes twice. Hopefully, you have learned a valuable lesson from this that will help you in the future. The hardest thing I ever had to learn is that there are consequences to my actions, and sometimes those consequences affect the lives of others.

You now need to think first about the baby you are carrying. There is an innocent child growing inside you. All decisions made in the future need to be made with the child’s best interests in mind first.

Take a look at your life. Are you and your boyfriend properly equipped to be parents? Will you be able to provide food, shelter, education, love, and all the things’ children need? Will you even have the support of your boyfriend? Are your parents willing to help? How do they feel about raising another child at this point in their lives?

Full disclosure here: I have two adopted grandchildren. I love these two grandchildren just as much as I love my other grandchildren. They were a wonderful gift to our family, and our lives are so much richer because they are part of our family. We are grateful to their birth mothers for their unselfish gift to us. We pray for their birth mothers every single day.

Have you considered adoption? I’d like you to listen to this piece of music. Michael McLean is a songwriter who was asked by a young unmarried woman to write a song that she could sing to the couple who was going to adopt the baby she was carrying. Please listen to this song here.

If you decide to keep this baby, you will need a lot of support. You will need a long-term plan. You will need to be able to finish your education. You will not only need support from your family, but also community support. Take a good look at what resources you have available to you. Don’t underestimate the amount of support you will need. If you don’t have that kind of support, adoption is your best option. A lot of times, you can actually help choose the couple who will raise your baby.

These are very adult decisions to make for someone so young. Just remember that being an adult often means putting the needs of others before your own. Your first priority is the welfare of this baby. The baby’s needs must come first. Take everything into consideration before making a decision. Talk to your parents to see how they feel about this. Some people are in the position to help raise grandchildren, and some are not. Whatever your parents decide, please don’t be judgmental. Raising children is hard, and sometimes you just are not prepared to take on raising a child after you have already raised your own. My husband and I had a troubled grandson live with us for two and a half months in 2020. As much as we love him, it was one of the hardest things we’ve had to do as we’ve gotten older. Parenting is difficult under any circumstances; but particularly when you are older and tired.

I would love to hear back from you at some point letting me know how you are doing. I wish nothing but the best for both you and the baby. You will be in my thoughts and in my prayers.

Article #: 481972

Category: Other

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.