Blog

Can bf teach me street smarts?

It’s not my fault I have no common sense, but my boyfriend gets frustrated. How can I get him to help me?

First, says our elder, he needs to accept you for what you are.

Dear EWC

Long story short, I was raised in the middle of nowhere with very little to no outside contact. I’ve been with my boyfriend for a few years and we have a baby together. He’s constantly getting annoyed with having to teach me common stuff that I should know. Like how to tell inappropriate actions from appropriate actions. I lack street sense and have been hurt and abused multiple times and I don’t want to keep bothering my love with trying to understand how the real world works. I just don’t understand and he lacks the patience to help. Any advice?

Bill replies

I’m glad you’ve reached out to us here at EWC. I hope these thoughts will be helpful.
It’s not common sense that you lack. It’s information that you didn’t receive growing up. Don’t know why your folks didn’t fill in what you missed, but it is what it is. And that’s what’s sad about your bf: He hasn’t accepted that it is what it is.

I am married to a woman who was sexually abused as a child, taunted incessantly by her siblings. There is much she didn’t know, socially, when we married 16 years ago. I am not a man with great patience by nature, but over the years of my marriage, I’ve grown. The other day I thought out loud, I wonder how I became patient? My wife responded, “I think it has been your love for me.”

Your bf should review the marriage vows “in sickness and in health.” Perhaps some counseling for him, or y’all as a couple? You didn’t make you the way you are, on purpose. Love is not words; it’s actions. Ask your bf to love you in actions and growing patience. But approach him, and all this, gently.
Best wishes.

Letter #: 451918
Category: Self-Improvement

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.