Will braces be a turn-off?

This letter writer is feeling positive about her crush… but will he go off her when she gets braces? 

You sound like a positive person, says our elder. Tell him ahead of time and see what happens.


Dear EWC

Hey! I am 13 years old. There’s this boy at school. He’s so cute and funny and I have a huge crush on him. I think he may like me too. He has a nickname for me, and we get along very well. But I have a concern… I am getting braces very soon, and I am scared I will look ugly and his attention for me will vanish. I want him to like me, and I am not even sure if our friendship will turn into a relationship but I just want to keep our tight bond close. And I am nervous of what he and other people at school will think. Now I know it is normal to get braces, especially at this age, but still… I am sure you will understand. Give me the best advice you got! Thank you!! 


Murphy replies

Right off the bat, I have to say you sound like a very positive person. This leads me to believe that you are going to be able to make the whole ‘brace’ experience positive and maybe even fun. Because it does sound like you and this boy are very good friends. He already has a nickname for you and you mention that you already have a bond.

I really understand your fear that your crush will not find you as attractive with the braces, but, I have had a lot of experience with braces, both as a wearer myself at the old age of 50 and having my daughter and granddaughter go through the brace experience, at the same age as you. I know you may not believe this, but the braces really did not detract from their looks. Once they got used to wearing them and their friends got used to them wearing them, it made very little difference at all. I really do not think, if he is your true friend, he is not going to find you any less attractive and certainly will want to continue to be your friend or eventual girlfriend/boyfriend if that is where the relationship leads.

I do have one idea you might want to consider. Tell this boy and your friends at school ahead of time that you are getting the braces. That way it will not be a total surprise to anyone when you come to school with the braces. I am not saying you might not get some “good-natured” teasing, but you definitely sound like you can handle the teasing and turn it into a positive outcome, by making a joke of it yourself, or just letting it slide by. 

Just one last thing, I know you have probably heard this many times, but it is true. If you do find that he no longer wants to remain friends because of your braces, (it does not sound like this will be the case based on your letter), then you know that he is not someone you want as a friend. I know at your age looks seem to be so important, but remember, looks are not who you are inside and, in the end, it really is the person you are inside that matters.

So, give your friends and your crush a heads-up about the braces, and do not let the braces change your attitude. 

Article #: 418192

Category: Dating/Relationship

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