I lost everything last year and now I’m back living with my parents. How can I find my purpose?
The only way is up, says our elder. See friends, make a plan, and don’t give up.
Hi. I am 22, turning 23 this year. I feel incredibly stuck, lost and dejected. I lost everything last year; right from my relationship, to my job(s), to money, to friends, to my house. I had started rebuilding towards the close of last year with help from my brother, I went back to school and he allowed me to move into his home. Beginning of this year, he requested that I move back with my parents in another town. I have no income; it’s been incredibly tough to find one and I feel so low again. I feel like life is just a constant cycle of pain and heartbreak, I mean; I was just starting to feel good again. What should I do? I feel like I have no purpose and that life has no meaning
I’m glad you wrote to EWC, and I hope I can give you some advice you will find useful. You have gone through a lot for such a young person, but that is actually to your advantage. At 23 you are just beginning, and you have a whole lifetime to build your life. Look at this as a new opportunity rather than a failing.
When your life reaches a low level, there is no other way but up, right? My suggestion is to look forward, and don’t allow yourself to focus so much on the past. Create a plan for your future with goals you wish to reach, and the things you need to do each day to reach those goals. If that means searching and applying for jobs, do so. If you need to take employment that pays less in a field not in your area of specialty, do so. Having some sort of income will allow you to feel you have some control over your situation. Get out also and do things that are enjoyable and take your mind off of your worries. Spend time with friends, do something to help someone less fortunate. I also suggest taking stock on all the good things in your life for which you can be thankful. Things can always be worse. You have to live with your parents? Be thankful you have a home.
One thing I’d like for you to keep in mind is that if you give up, stop trying, and do nothing, you will never get anywhere. If you do even small things each day to advance your position in life, you are moving in the right direction. Eventually you will succeed.
I suspect your lack of employment is the biggest disappointment in your life. I feel pretty certain once you can find a job everything else will fall into place. Remind yourself of that while you keep searching. I hope things work out for you very soon and I wish you all the best. Please write again if you need more advice. Take care and good luck!
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