And it’s affecting how I do in class. 

Our elder says: Don’t worry about it! She’s your teacher, not your friend. Focus on doing the best you can in your studies instead.

 

Dear EWC

I am in ninth grade and it’s my last year in middle school. Today, my father came to my school to ask the professors about my participation and my character in each one of their lessons. From the ones he asked they all said great things except from one professor. This particular professor didn’t like me from my first year in middle school because I needed more time to get comfortable in the new environment of middle school. That year half of it I wasn’t participating much in class. I thought and still think that she started not to like me and now I think she doesn’t. The second half of my first year I tried a little more and I was doing a little better. Second year of middle school and I was doing even better in the first half but she gave me a grade that I was cool with. In the second half of the second year, I started falling. She noticed too but the grade she gave me was the same as the first half of the year. Now I am in my third and last year in middle school and I am not doing well. What she has seen that I’ve done is little. The thing is, I do all of my homework but I think it’s wrong and I don’t answer the questions. And I don’t think that she ever liked me, even when I was doing better. So, today my dad talked to her too and she said that she thinks I am giving up. When my dad told me I cried a little. Now I am feeling down and I don’t know if I should feel angry at her or if I shouldn’t let my feelings control me. I want to prove to her that I am a good student but how can I deal with my feelings and with her?

 

Here4U replies

I believe that it is important that you focus on the fact that all of your other professors had really good things to say about you. I think you should be feeling good about that.

As you go through your years of education, you will find that you will have some excellent professors who you will like very much and some that you will not like as much. What is important is what you do to take advantage of getting the most that you can from the class that they are teaching.   

I would suggest that you be the one to prove that you are a good student. In the greater scheme of things, whatever ends up happening in this class is not going to have much bearing on this professor’s life. She will go on to teach years after you have left her class just as she did before you were ever in her class. She will likely teach thousands of other students. She will move on with her life, no matter how well you do in her class.

As for you, this is your education and you have one shot at it. How well you do will have an effect on your life, the rest of your education, and your future. I would suggest that you not allow your feelings towards a particular professor to affect how well you do in their class. That would be unfair to you.

I believe that you have to keep in mind that she is your teacher, not your friend, so it does not really matter if she likes you or not. I realize you believe that because she doesn’t like you, she has not treated you fairly. This could be an important life lesson for you if you allow it to be. After you graduate from school and begin working, you will find that you will not like everyone you have to work with and there will be some that may not like you, but you cannot allow that to jeopardize your career. 

Do you believe that what she said about you giving up in her class was true? If it is true, then that just means that you have to try harder. However, it is not going to help you to do any better by being angry with her. I suggest that if you need help in her class, you ask her for it. If you do not believe that she is precise in explaining the work she expects from you, then I believe you need to discuss that with her. I would suggest that you do so in a respectful way. Most professors appreciate when their students take an interest in their class and maybe, more importantly, this will show that you have clearly not given up in her class. 

I believe it will benefit you if you put your feelings for her aside and only focus on what you are studying in her class. You could gain so much from what you are studying as it may have a lasting impact on your life, yet you will gain nothing from being angry at one professor. There is a good likelihood that you will never see her outside of this class again, so I would suggest that you not waste your time or energies on worrying about her, but instead put those energies towards your studies. 

I hope that this has been helpful to you. If in the future you would like advice, please feel free to write again. 

I wish only that you have an excellent education and a successful future.  

Article #: 482506
Category: School