A letter writer is feeling frustrated: is it time to tell her friend how she really feels?
Yes, yes, yes says our elder. Why waste any more time?
I have a guy friend I’ve known for 15 years. I’ve always gotten the vibe that he has feelings for me and I definitely have feelings for him, but timing has never been on our side as far as pursuing a relationship—at least one of us has always been attached. I recently got back in contact with him and continue to get mixed signals (e.g. Him being VERY curious about my relationship status, making a point to tell me he did try to reach out/respond to me but wasn’t able to for whatever reason, etc). Is this something worth pushing? Should I just sit back and let him come to me? Just give up all together? HELP! So frustrated in love.
Elder TEB replies
As you have experienced and cited, love does bring on a certain levels of frustration no matter the time line!
To answer your question as to whether this is worth “pushing”—the answer is a resounding yes. You guys have 15 years going for you and that in and of itself certainly bodes well for getting this possible romance off to a good start. For goodness sakes don’t give up as you may miss the romance of a lifetime despite the long “gestation period” this relationship has undergone.
HELP is on its way (the cavalry is just around the corner) but it looks like you will have to seize any and all opportunities to advance this relationship to the next level by being aggressive enough to let him know of your thoughts in the matter. Hopefully once he realizes your sincere feelings in the matter he will also get actively engaged in meeting your wishes in this situation.
I sincerely hope that these few comments assist you in some small way in dealing with the questions posed in your very interesting and thoughtful letter.