I can change! No, really

He got drunk and insulted his girlfriend but now he wants her back.

That depends on how she’s feeling, says our elder.

Dear EWC

So for the last couple of weeks I have had been an ass to my girlfriend. It all started out with me calling her a bitch when I was drunk and the next she was filming me when I was angry at something my friend had done so I told him to get out of my face. Then I was going out with my friends to a club and I was dumb enough to say what if I girl hit on me. I know I would of walked away from anyone who was not my girlfriend; I just thought it would be funny at the time. Now we’re not together. I’m still seeing her and spending time with her and we are friends but she told me today I need to show her that I’m going to change. I know I’m never going to hurt her like that again but I need advice on how I can show her the best and quickest way to get her back in my life again as my girlfriend.

Elder Salvador replies

First, be aware that our actions can have irreversible consequences.

As far as what to do. All I can tell you is for you to go and ask her for forgiveness. Don’t use being drunk as an excuse, just apologize. Ask her what she expects you to do to for her to forgive you. Also, tell her what plan you do have to correct your behavior. It is not enough to say, “I won’t do it again”. You have to show her that you have a plan.

I do not know how hurt she still is. She may not be receptive but may leave the door open for a future decision. If that is the case, give her her space; don’t smother her. Tell her you will be waiting for her decision whether to stay with you or not. Ask her what she is willing to accept. In other words, can you still go out at least as friends? If she does, then respect her as a friend and do not expect more than that until she is ready for it.

Now, to my first comment. Be ready for her not to accept you anymore. Every individual is different. She may be willing to consider going back with you but she also may not. If that is the case, you may just have to respect it and go on with your life. Part ways in a friendly and respectful way.

Lastly, I hope you learned from this. I ask you to sit down and think what you did wrong and what you plan to do to correct your behavior for future relationship(s). I would suggest that getting drunk is not a good habit. How can you learn not to act improperly when you are drunk? Maybe you can’t. So to avoid this problem, don’t get drunk. Drink responsibly.

I hope this reply helped you and I wish you the best.

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