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Help! He’s a terrible kisser!

My boyfriend is great but he can’t kiss! What can I do?

Communication is key, says our elder.

Dear EWC

The guy I’m seeing is really nice but when it comes to kissing he is terrible. When he kisses he like opens his mouth and his teeth press against my upper lip and he pushes in. I’ve tried backing up but it just doesn’t work. Help!

DonM replies

Unfortunately no one provides kissing lessons for us when we are young. It is pretty much a learn-as-you-go experience. The way to solve this issue is through effective communication. This is not always easy, but there are ways to approach this that would be more effective.

You want to make sure that your boyfriend knows that you enjoy being with him and that you care for him. So, how you initially phrase your communication is important. For example, you can say “I really enjoy being with you, and I like it when we kiss, but sometimes you press your teeth against my lips and it hurts.”  “Too much pressure can be uncomfortable, and a lighter touch would be better for me.”

Holding his hand and providing direct eye contact would be helpful also. In this way you don’t insult him or blame him for what he is doing. You could even ask if it would be ok if you showed him what you like when you kiss. I would be surprised if he would refuse that offer. You could also tell him that you want to make the experience better for both of you and you could ask him if you need to change anything about how you kiss. This way you are opening up the lines of communication and this can benefit your relationship in the future.

I hope some of this information is helpful for you and I wish you the best in your future.

Letter #: 418236
Category: Dating/Relationship

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