Dad’s a cheater; do I tell Mom?

A letter writer feels stuck in the middle.

Let it go, advises our elder.

Dear EWC

A few months ago my dad was found cheating. It was going on for a while, say two to three months. My mom did not want my dad to leave her. So they are still together. The other day I found out my dad is still cheating. I know this because he had me erase phone numbers from his phone. He told me not to tell my mom about the phone. Does that make me a bad person if I knew that and haven’t told my mom? I told my husband but he said to let it go. Because my dad will know I’m the one who told.

Lawry replies

I would be happy to answer your letter. It is always hard when we know something that affects others and they aren’t necessarily aware of it.

I would agree with your husband that the best thing to do is not say anything to your mother. She already knows that he has been unfaithful. I am sure she has her ways of knowing that he still cheating on her. I know it isn’t easy, but I would just “let it go.” Your mother has chosen to want your father around despite what he’s been doing.

No, it does make you a bad person to not say anything to your mother. It’s best if you don’t get involved in this situation. It really is between your parents. It could get nasty if you end up getting into the middle of it. So, again, I would let it go.

I hope that this has been helpful to you, and I wish you well in letting this go. Think positive. I am a great believer in that.

I would love to hear how things work out for you. I’ll be thinking of you.

Letter #: 426369
Category: Family

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