But I think I’m falling for my boyfriend’s best friend.
Well he does seem a bit nicer than your boyfriend, says our elder. And it sounds like he’s into you too.
Dear EWC
They are both extremely cute, they act the same and always hang with them both. But my boyfriend’s best friend is always there for me. He walks me to class, he waits for me after class, he visits me in class, he picks me up after school and before school on campus. Then my boyfriend barely comes to school, skips class. He walked me to class once but that was only because his best friend was there. As you can see my boyfriend’s best friend is obviously better but I don’t wanna mess up their relationship and don’t want to seem like a homie hopper if I go straight to his best friend, and I kinda still have feelings for my boyfriend too. It’s confusing and I think I have more feelings than I thought for my boyfriend’s best friend but I also don’t wanna mess up their friendship. What should I do ?
June-Bug replies
This is a tough one! I can understand that you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings and you certainly don’t want to be responsible for breaking up a friendship. It may sound selfish, but I think you should think of your own needs here and not worry about the two guys. If their friendship is strong, it will survive regardless of what you do. Besides, how healthy is it for you to be in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with one of them, while deep in your heart you want to be with the other? That’s not being true to yourself and it’s not being fair to either of them.
Don’t try to ignore your feelings for the best friend. I happen to think the feelings are mutual. From what you say, it sounds like the best friend is interested in you as well. Why else would he always be there to walk you to and from class? He obviously enjoys your company. Pay attention to the kind of vibes you get from him. Do you feel like he has you in the friend zone, or is it something more? He doesn’t want to betray his friend by making a romantic move, but maybe if you were free he would.
The fact that you are considering someone else to be better than your boyfriend tells me that you are not fully committed to your current boyfriend. I’m sure he’s a great guy, but sometimes the heart has a mind of its own. Maybe the first step for you is to break up with your boyfriend. Tell you want to date others. If, once you are single, the best friend indicates he wants to be more than friends, then so be it. If not, enjoy your life and be curious of what lies ahead. Good luck!
Letter #: 455202
Category: Dating/Relationship