… and now I’m off to college. Will changing the way I look help me find the right girl? It sounds like you don’t need to change a thing, says our elder. Just start a conversation and see where it goes.
I (18, male) have been single my whole entire life and don’t know what to do. I am about to start college this fall and want to get off on the right foot and find someone to love and be loved by. Most of my life so far has been consumed by school, work, and family, all of which are good, but I regret not getting into the world of dating, for lack of a better word. I’m not the most socially skilled person there is. I’m not the most affluent in the world of dating, either. I need advice on how to begin. After going to an all-boys Catholic high school for four years, working at a construction company and on a farm for at least half my life, and having very little time for anything else, I know for a fact that things are about to change, much of which I am excited for but also nervous about.
I don’t know if I should be blaming my lack of success with dating completely on the fact that I have had no time to do it or on the fact that I really don’t think I’d be any good at it even if I did have the time. I don’t really know what I’m looking for but I just would love any and all advice you could give me. I want to become the type of person that perhaps not that girls could love but that the right girl could love and would love. I don’t know what I need to change about my looks. I am pretty fit, mostly because of the amount of physical labor my life requires with all the work on the farm and with construction. I am also afraid that my hobbies, including fishing, swimming, hunting, and pretty much everything else outdoors, are not the types of things that either allow for much socialization or are very attractive or helpful when it comes to dating. I don’t know how to get off on the right foot next fall when I go to college. I don’t want to pretend to be someone else but I also don’t want to make myself look like a fool. Essentially, I’m just looking for any and all advice that you can give me on my situation. I truly am concerned and afraid, although I wouldn’t say I’m desperate. Please let me know how I can get off on the right foot next fall and please let me know what you’d do.
Congratulations to you as you move on to college life.
Most of all I encourage you to be yourself, be true to your values, and don’t succumb to peer pressure.
You may feel nervous about starting to date, I understand. While some people have more experience, in my opinion, that won’t make them more attractive to girls.
If you keep yourself well groomed, neat and clean, you likely don’t have to change a thing about your looks. I suggest you don’t go heavy on the aftershave or cologne, some people just don’t like it.
It’s helpful to make good eye contact if you’re interested in a girl and ask her a few questions you think she would be comfortable answering… but not too many questions. Nothing too personal — study related or hobbies might be a good way to start. If she’s interested in you she may ask you about your hobbies. After you get to know someone you may learn she’s open to sharing some of your activities, or you may want to participate in hers. Be open to trying new things.
I hope my woman’s viewpoint is helpful to you. I wish you good luck and a very happy future. Enjoy the adventure!
Letter #: 462079