What’s with this guy?

Is he interested or not?

Communication is key, says our elder, and you’re going to have to start the conversation.

Dear EWC:

I’m currently a high school student and there is this guy that I really like. When we first started talking he also seemed interested. We even went on dates and he would drive to my house after he left work since it was close. But he suddenly stopped talking to me.

One day he asked for all of the clothes I had from him back, then stopped texting me and talking to me in person. After about 2-3 weeks of that, he started to comment on my posts on Instagram and that has been the only way he has communicated with me since 2-3 weeks ago. I don’t know if he’s trying to be friends, or if he is trying to be in a relationship. Both of us were interested so I have no idea what caused him to stop talking to me. During school we look at each other a lot but we never communicate. I genuinely really have strong feelings for this guy but I don’t know what he’s feeling.

One of my friends told me that he started talking to another girl but I don’t know if it’s true or not. I don’t want to believe that but I might have to. I don’t know why he even tried to communicate with me again. I really need advice, help please!

Danray replies:

I’m sorry to hear that the guy you really like has stopped talking to you. I can understand your confusion since the two of you were talking (and even dating) and then all of a sudden he stopped communicating. I know that you have strong feelings for him and would like to know what happened… So what do you do?

Relationships can be confusing at times especially when you’re young. I remember back in high school when I was your age having interest in some girls and knowing that certain girls had interest in me. This was difficult at times since I had trouble managing my feelings, talking to girls and dealing with others who wanted to “help” me with these relationships. Since a lot was going on and other people would get involved, I found it important to talk to the person directly about my feelings and get to know what they were feeling. Therefore, using my example, if you have questions about your relationship, talk to him. The two of you clearly had talked in the past and even dated so there nothing wrong with asking him about his current actions/feelings. Clearly something has changed and I’m surprised that he hasn’t mentioned anything to you or why you haven’t asked him why he stopped talking to you. One of the key traits to a relationship is communication. Just call him, pull him aside at school, etc. and ask him where the two of you stand and that you’re OK either way. Try to be strong because he may just want to be friends, may have met someone else and that happens.

To summarize, relationships have their ups and downs but it’s important that each of you communicate freely your thoughts and feelings. If for any reason he’s not communicating, then you have to step in. Just ask what happened and be prepared to handle whatever he says. You will be the mature one and show him that you care and just want to share where each of you stand and how to move on either way.

I know this can be hard but relationships need open communication if they are to grow or if they need to end. Hope this helps and I wish you the best going forward.


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