Is this guy a sexual predator?

Yes, says our elder, and cautions against ignoring the red flags. Read on for his advice on how to end this online exploitation.

Dear EWC:

I met this man online who claims to be 23 years old. He asked me if I was interested to try ”sexual talking.” I had declined many others before because I felt uncomfortable, but for some reason, I agreed to try with this man.

He was masturbating on a video call and I just watched while he was panting and talking quite dirty. I know it wasn’t right and I wanted to go, but I couldn’t. I ended the call many times, making the excuse of having a bad internet connection, hoping to annoy him and make him go away. But he just continued on, sounding very patient and unbothered. Finally, he finished. Then, we started talking.

He said that I was a girl he saw in his dreams and everything he said about me was accurate! I started to think that maybe I’m actually interested in this man and becoming blind to all the red flags. Many times in the video call, he talked about wanting to meet up and do sexual things in person, and when I said no he would tell me not to be shy. I’d never give him my address or go out to meet him on my own. What should I do next?

Mr. Bill replies:

Thanks for writing to us. You ask what should I do next? There is no doubt in my mind what you should do next. Do not exchange any more online communications with this man. Do not meet him. End this relationship now, especially if you are finding him interesting.

I would say that yes, he is an online predator. You wrote that there are red flags. Yes, there are. And instead of being blind to them, you do see them and have included them in your letter to us. You are not blind but you may be ignoring those red flags.

All of those things he asked of you are ways to exploit others. You don’t need to say no to him any longer. Instead, end this and say nothing more to him at all. I believe that your instincts are telling you to be careful. I learned long ago to trust my instincts. You should too. You may have heard it said this way. Trust your gut. Our instincts are usually pretty accurate and in this case, I think you should be tuned in to them, trust them, and let them guide you. Away from this situation and person.

Those are my thoughts and my strong advice. I have no idea how old he is, whether he is really 23 or not, but I think that “yes,” he is an online predator. End this. Be very cautious with online relationships and do not agree to online sex or to meet someone until you are sure they are completely trustworthy. Never meet anyone you meet online, alone, for the first time.

Love an honorable man, one you can respect. In that relationship, enjoy a healthy and satisfying sexual experience and relationship.


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