First kiss! Now what?

For this over-thinking teenager, that’s the question. 

While our elder suggests seeking help for the anxiety, don’t forget to celebrate that first kiss.

Dear EWC:

Hello. Last year, I was diagnosed with anxiety. It’s affected me in so many ways, especially forming new platonic and romantic relationships. I barely talk to those who care about me, usually too depressed and apathetic to reply. But nowadays, I’ve wanted to take a new route, becoming friendlier, and putting more effort in, perhaps to even stop over-thinking so much. I thought in the New Year I could change into a better person.

So, I finally had my first kiss. I’ve liked this person since last year. He was so awkward about it, and according to my friends he was acting strange the whole day. He told me he had liked me since he first laid his eyes on me, and some strange person took over. Not the respectful, intelligent person I wanted for 2021, but a confident, adventurous person. I initiated the kiss, and it was weird. I liked the idea that we kissed, but the feeling was rather strange.

Anyway, he asked me out a few hours afterwards, though he was so shy the whole time. As a teenager who constantly over-thinks, I understand the relationship won’t last. He’s been one of my closest friends for 4 years; I’m scared to let that go if he leaves me. I said yes to him, so it’s official, but I’m still so nervous. I love him, but there’s so much that could go wrong. I don’t know what to do about it.

Kenti replies:

It’s wonderful to hear that you’ve had your first kiss. Since this is all new, I’m not surprised that you’re concerned your connection will not last. I say this because you have been diagnosed with anxiety and because you’re aware you overthink situations. I suggest you contact the professional who made your diagnosis and request a referral to a therapist, who can help you manage your anxiety,

In the meantime, there’s been a terrific development. The guy you like told you he’s liked you ever since setting eyes on you. Then you surprised yourself and initiated a kiss. He followed by asking you for a date.

Unfortunately, it seems you’re overthinking again and fearing that things will go wrong. This is one reason I think it’s important for you to work with a therapist. I strongly believe that getting help is important, not only because you may start a dating relationship, but also because it will help in future situations such as making friends. I wish you well.



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