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Stop with all the questions!

I met this guy who fixed my AC, and now he won’t stop texting me personal questions. Help!

You are right to be careful, says our elder. Set boundaries and stay safe.

 

Dear EWC      

Hey there! My name is Lila. I’m 17. So there’s this guy I really like who fixed my AC. Since then I really liked him. He did the AC around three to four times. His shop is very near to my home. So whenever I go on my scooty, we give each other a smile and sometimes say hi. One day when I was going on my scooty, he was near a tiffin shop and I decided to slow down so that I could get a moment to talk to him. The first question he asked was why I was roaming (friendly way) and then we asked each other names and we exchanged phone numbers and Insta IDs. Then from the next day itself we started texting each other pretty quick. He keeps asking me for my details. He asked me about my dad (you see, my dad’s not around much since he works in another state). He asked me when my dad is gonna come home, or when he is going to come, and questions like that which I felt were very toxic and suspicious. And I replied that my dad works in another state and told him that he was gonna come the next day (which was a lie. He’s not gonna come for another week!). Whenever he sees me on my scooty, he is asking where I went and why I went and things like that. Please help me whether I should stop texting this person, how should I break with this person and to avoid if I should. I’m in desperate need of help right now. Today when I was coming on my scooty, I saw so many boys gathered including him. It just gives me chills. When I came home he texted me where I was and why I went and for what purposes… please help me

 

G-A replies

You are certainly right in being careful, Lila, but as long as you practice ‘safety’ you don’t need to be afraid of this guy or anyone else. 

Safety means keeping your personal life personal! He doesn’t need to know too much about you until you know about him, his friends and his family. Don’t meet him in secluded places. Stay in public places and, if possible, take a friend with you if you meet him. 

He already knows where you live. Let your family know that you’ve been talking with him. Tell him that you’ve spoken to your dad about him. If he asks why, tell him that you don’t keep secrets from your family. This is all in order to make him aware of the fact that others know about your relationship with him. 

You may be a person who is not so trusting because of your cultural traditions. It’s OK not to practice blind trust but you don’t have to live in fear. You’re young and you may not have had a lot of experience with guys but as you mature and gain experience, you will learn how to carry yourself in a manner that sets boundaries and demands respect. 

When your dad gets home, tell him about this guy. If he ever asks to meet your dad, if you’re still interested, introduce them. That way, if he has any intention of wrongdoing, your dad will know who he is. 

I don’t know this guy or what his intentions may be so I can only suggest that you be careful but don’t be paranoid. Hopefully, he’s only asking a lot of questions about you because he likes you and he’s interested in getting to know you. In any case, you control your life. Don’t ever give away that power to anyone else.   

Article #: 472915

Category: Dating/Relationship

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