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Help me to love myself

A letter writer seeks help on overcoming their insecurities. 

From staying healthy to starting a chat group, our elder has some suggestions on how to overturn a negative self-image.

Dear EWC

Hello! I’m 16 year old and I can’t figure out why I’m doubting myself, because I always label myself as a failure. Sometimes I feel sad and I can’t interact with others, even my family. I really don’t know how I can lift up and control myself from being sad and moody. Please help me to get out of my comfort zone, to live without worrying about others, about what they will talk behind me. Help me to love myself and overcome my insecurities. 

Grandpa-Bill replies

Your description of yourself makes me suspect that you might have a low self-image. People with a low self-image (or low self-concept) had some incident or event happen in their past that left them thinking they aren’t  good enough, pretty or handsome enough, smart enough, funny enough; that they are a failure, feel people are talking bad about them, etc. Without realizing it they keep sending themselves negative messages that say these things. People with low self-images can be sad and moody and may avoid others. If they have someone they like, they often are afraid of and worry that their person will meet someone better than them and leave them. They often feel they need to check their mate’s phone and computer and want to know where their mate is at all times and who they are talking to. This can ruin a relationship because they are assuming and treating their mate as if they are guilty, without any proof of that and the mate resents that. 

 I will help you get out of this situation. First, search the internet using the words “signs of a low self-image” and see if the description matches how you feel. If so, there are ways to raise your self-image and you can find them by searching with the words, “strategies for raising a low self-image”. Using these strategies will help you change around those negative messages you tell yourself into positive ones and you will start to see that you are not a failure, that you have plenty to offer to the world and will come to like yourself. 

Another thing that can cause mood swings is raging hormones, common at your age. After things return to normal you can ask your parents if you can get a physical exam because you have been feeling sad and moody and would like your doctor to check and see if there is any physical cause for that. If not, you can tell the doctor how you feel and they can either help you or refer you to someone who can. 

Make sure you are doing all you can to feel well, which means eating healthy, exercising, and getting plenty of rest. Plan some fun things into your schedule so that you will have things you enjoy to look forward to. Start a new craft or hobby or go do some volunteer work, or make something to sell, or start a chat group using Zoom or Google Duo, try baking or cooking, learn to play an instrument online, etc. 

Hope these ideas will help you feel better. 

Article #: 460203

Category: Self-Improvement

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