Dating gives me panic attacks 

Whenever my girlfriend wants to see me, I get so anxious I throw up. 

Your body is telling you something, says our elder. See a counselor to help find the cause of your stress.


Dear EWC

Hi, I’m an 18 year old bisexual girl who is currently in a relationship with another girl. Before Covid was a thing, everything was going great and I saw her every day but as soon as quarantine started and we couldn’t see each other anymore I developed very bad anxiety to the point where whenever she says she wants to see me I get very anxious and have panic attacks in which most of the times I throw up because that’s how my body reacts to stress, and guess what? I have a phobia of throwing up as well so that’s not fun at all. I actually tried taking a break from the relationship this past summer in hopes of getting better but not being in a relationship with her made it even worse because I truly love her beyond imagination and I cannot imagine my life without her, so I’m trying to overcome this meaningless anxiety and panic whenever my girlfriend texts me or wants to see me because I love her so so so much (and no, the anxiety is not because I’m scared of catching Covid. I honestly have no clue what it is – I’m assuming it’s some sort of social anxiety). Anyways, I would be more than happy to hear your advice or opinion on my situation.


SaraJ replies

I’m so glad you have written to EWC and I hope I can offer you some help with this issue. My granddaughter experienced this identical thing so I can share what she ended up doing about it. She is 17 and was in a relationship with a young woman and started getting sick whenever they got together and soon was having anxiety and panic attacks whenever she was contacted by this other girl.

Her mom found her a therapist to talk to and with that support, she was able to convert that relationship back to a friendship. Once she made that transition, her symptoms went away. Like you, she really cared for this person but for whatever reason, being in a “relationship” with her was too stressful. They have both moved on now and I think she’s very happy that she broke it off.

My suggestion to you is to see if you can find a counselor to talk to about it. If you decide to break up with this woman, having this support will really help you. If you decide you want to stay in this relationship, maybe this counselor can help you identify what is stressing you. You deserve happiness and to feel healthy in your relationships. Your body is trying to send you a message… listen to it.

I’d love to hear back from you so please write again anytime.

Article #: 474004

Category: Dating/Relationship


  1. I’ve got a problem it’s 1 year 8months single, I was in a abusive relationship, the guy was dishonest, cheating, disrespectful, he was just using me in all aspects
    I decided to let him go,now Iely ly ely

    1. Administration Reply
      September 10, 2021

      If you would like to connect with an Elder for advice on this, please visit our website .

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