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People don’t like me

And being a genius doesn’t help. 

Can our elder help this letter writer use their intelligence to find the trust and friendship they’re looking for?

 

Dear EWC

I feel empty, unloved, dark. I think I’m going insane. People say I’m a psychopath. Others say I’m a sociopath. People don’t like me. Most people I know or love as in a relationship, no matter how serious I am. they leave. I hate myself and mostly I hate the whole world. Nothing is wrong with my family or the way I grew up other than the loneliness of a childhood. Parents say that it’s just my teenage years but they just don’t understand. I’m looking for help, assistance, trust, friendship and success. I can’t focus on my studies which makes my marks so bad and I don’t understand most things even though people tell me I’m a genius. I also have trust issues and I feel depressed and miserable and so stressed out for no reason. I keep fighting my evil self and I’m in a constant fight with it.

 

John-Counsel replies

You describe an awful situation. I am about to suggest some ways to address some of the problems you describe, and I hope you find them useful. First let’s focus on your friends’ observations that you are a genius. Whether you are a genius or not is not the issue. The point is that your friends see and acknowledge your intelligence. Let’s see how you can use your intelligence to address some of your problems.

You say that you are seeking trust and friendship. Use your intelligence to make this possible. Rather than focus on bad relationships, focus on how you can create good ones. Rather than focus on your own needs, try focusing on how you can make a specific conversation, activity and friendship better. Ask yourself questions like: What does my friend need out of this conversation, and how can I contribute to that need? How can I acknowledge my friend’s genius and give him or her confidence? How can I use my own genius to bring some fun and joy to this conversation or activity? The point behind these questions is to focus on the positive and how you can use your own intelligence to make a positive relationship. 

You say that you are seeking success – particularly in your school work. Use your intelligence to make a study plan. In that plan create a chart for each class. Map out the priorities and specific tasks that must be completed by specific dates. Also chart the major concepts that are important to master and the supporting evidence and skills that you must learn to do well on tests. Finally create a calendar in which you schedule specific times for study each day or week and what you plan to accomplish in each study session. When you finish each session, be sure to check off what you accomplished. This will help you focus on the positive.

While you are creating your calendar, be sure to schedule some time for yourself–time when you do things that you particularly enjoy – perhaps sports, art, films, exercise, cooking, reading, exploring the neighborhood… The point is that you, like all of us, must engage in enjoyment to create some balance in your life. 

I hope some of these ideas help. If, however, you don’t like them or they do not have the effect you seek, please think about contacting your school counselor who may be in a much better position to help you. In the meantime, I wish you well and hope that you start to enjoy the friendships, trust and successes you need in your life. 

Article #: 465925

Category: Other

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