Should I move state?

It’s the only way to prove to myself that I can be independent. 

Moving state can be daunting, says our elder. Plan your next steps carefully.


Dear EWC

So, I’m the type of person that usually only gets things done when told what to do. And I can’t stand it. But no matter what I do, that’s just how it goes for me. I really want to prove to myself, and others, that I can get along by myself. So, I’m seriously thinking of packing up and moving to a whole new state by myself. I just want an opinion and advice from someone who doesn’t know me and my life.


Loretta replies

Your letter didn’t provide a lot of information. I find myself wondering how old you are, and if you’re living at home. Is it your parents who are telling you what to do?  If so, have you tried communicating your feelings to them? It’s natural to resist doing things that we are not very interested in. For example, I remember how much I disliked having to do household chores when I lived at home. But since I’ve lived on my own, I don’t mind much, because it’s my home; I do them if and when I want to! Also, when I was living with my family, I didn’t have confidence in myself. I was the ‘baby’ in the family and everyone was older – and more capable, it seemed. Living on my own made me realize there was nothing wrong with me! 

If you are an adult now, it’s perfectly reasonable and healthy to want to be independent. Moving to another state without knowing anyone, can be daunting, however. My advice would be to plan carefully. Research the places you are interested in. For example, what is the availability of affordable rents? Living with housemates can provide company. You could try to find employment possibilities – even a definite job offer – before you go. Think about your interests, and make connections with people who share them. 

A few words of caution: If this is the first time you will be on your own, use good judgment and trust your instincts. A healthy skepticism will help keep you safe. I would encourage you to maintain your ties with friends and family for support. It’s better not to leave in anger. 

I hope these few words of advice will be helpful. And as Hellen Keller (who, despite serious handicaps, lived a successful life) said, “Life must be a daring adventure!” I wish you the best of luck!  

Article #: 478333

Category: Self-Improvement

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