I’m sorry I broke your heart

This letter writer can’t stop thinking about a guy from her hometown but she hurt him very badly. 

Make it as right as you can, says our elder. Apologize, and face the consequences.


Dear EWC

In my home town there was a guy I liked. We liked each other but I ended up breaking his heart, but I still like him. Seeing him makes me shy and my heart won’t stop pounding, And thinking and looking at him makes me smile so much. I think about him when I think about my home town or when I see trains and bridges. I’m not sure what to do. I’m not sure if I should tell him, or just forget about it. I’m scared he may hate me, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t at least hate me or be mad at me or upset. But I miss him. I miss talking to him. I don’t know what to do.


Irene replies

It’s tough when you’re attracted to someone and mess things up. There can be lots of reasons as to why things happened the way that they did. You said you broke his heart Northern; how did that happen? Were you a couple and you broke up with him? Did you talk about him behind his back? Did you cheat on him? Were you interested in each other and you rejected him? Did he approach you and you embarrassed or shamed him, because you felt awkward and didn’t know how to respond? 

It’s hard to know the best response to give you without knowing what happened for you to believe you “ended up breaking his heart.” 

It’s clear you are still very much attracted to him, and perhaps it is not too late to make amends and rekindle what you had with him before his heart was broken. 

You could be right; if he believes you broke his heart, he may not want to be with you any longer. Or he may be confused about what transpired and would love another chance to make things work out. You won’t know unless you are brave enough to face the consequences. Only you know what those are. 

Without knowing what happened, I guess I’d say, approach him in person. Ask him if you can have a few minutes to talk with him privately. Tell him while you don’t expect him to forgive you or reciprocate, however, you’d like to check in with him and clear the air about what happened and the way it happened. Then do just that, taking full responsibility for your actions whatever they were. Avoid excuses. Don’t minimize his pain. Don’t judge how he reacted then, or to your apology now.

Tell him you think of him often and regret things turned out as they did, and he didn’t deserve it. Then let the uncomfortable silence that may follow sit for a few minutes. Stay where you are (sitting or standing) sending him positive energy. If he continues to say nothing, thank him for listening and wish him well. Then walk away with your head held high.

We all make mistakes in life; we all have regrets. The hardest thing for some folks is to do the adult thing and check in to clear the air. It’s the right thing to do when your intuition tells you things didn’t go well. It works in any kind of relationship, personal or professional. 

By doing that, you will have made it as right as you can; then it is left in his court. If he lets you go, promise yourself that you will learn from this experience. You aren’t a bad person, so work to forgive yourself for whatever you did or didn’t do that caused him pain. 

I hope this helps. Let me know if you’d like to provide more specific information. I wish you the best. 

Article #: 437791

Category: Dating/Relationship

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